#Also the thing that knocked me out (don’t remember how to spell it) was coke (the soda) flavored

[knowlesian]

quick explanation on why grammar/spelling pedantry is Deeply Not Cool (in ways you might not even be aware of!) because as a former little snot about this exact subject i am begging everybody to knock it off. unless somebody asked you to comment on their use of language, just don’t.

like i said: i used to gleefully run around the world doing that shit. i get it! words are so cool. so, so cool. sometimes i get so excited just thinking about words and how i can use them and the way language shifts and flows over time to suit the needs of the people who use those words i have to shimmy in place, just a little. fuck YEAH, words. 

so i get it, words: very awesome. love ‘em. words and language itself tend make sense to me, in a way i can’t entirely explain. they’re soothing, like doing a puzzle, and they always have been.

so, living in my word nerd brain, i set out to make sure everybody in the world knew i was so, so good at words. probably better than them! that’s not how you spell that, that’s not what that means, here just let me do it for you because i know better. 

Not A Good Look.

i also know how it goes when the power dynamics you’re stuck in mean words you know that other people don’t are the best shield and weapon you can summon. i got bullied pretty hard for a lot of reasons as a kid, but i knew i could say something back to them that would leave them feeling stupider than me, and i used the fuck out of that. i never struck first because i am not so secretly absolutely dying to buy the whole world a coke so we can all sing in perfect harmony, but if people fucked with me or mine i made sure they left that interaction feeling just as shitty as i did. i was not kind in those moments, but i was very very thorough.

i’m not saying that all “ooooh, look at me, what a fuckin’ badass on the internet i am” because i am so very much not that, but because i still feel really, really bad about it. to this day, i sometimes wish i could tell the people who bullied me that i’m sorry i said that shit to them, no matter what they did to me in exchange.

though, like the saying goes, the axe forgets and the tree remembers. there’s every chance in the stories they tell themselves about our interactions, it isn’t that they picked on me and i lashed back; it’s that i made them feel stupid before i even got ugly with it, and they handled that about as well as i handled the bullying.

(told you, i really wanna force that damn share a coke/oh look, world harmony! pipeline to happen.)

so that’s one angle sorted: if you are good with words and/or communicating, it’s easy to not understand that people who have baggage around feeling they lack that skill (or just don’t see the music of the spheres in gorgeous sentence structure) aren’t going to appreciate what might feel like a helpful hint, but tends to come off as being a frustrating person to talk to.

which brings me to the second reason this matters a lot, and the one as a culture we don’t think about much, largely because it would make us uncomfortable and we don’t have to: prescriptivism around language is helping enforce a cornucopia of toxic bullshit. racist, ableist, classist: there’s a whole list to run down. it is what it is.

even if you’re not trying to put that out there in the world! even if your response to hearing that is “literally how, though”. like it or not, the net effect is the same. 

we don’t like to admit this because it’s one of those things that kind of breaks people, but: all words are made up. all of them. every single word in every single language, verbal or otherwise, is made up. we all collectively get together in our various overlapping groups over and over throughout history and decide: okay, so how are we using this now? language shifts to fit the needs of those using it to communicate. 

that’s part of why it’s so cool! as a word nerd i love elegance and formatting and asking myself “but what’s the prettiest way i could arrange this sentence, so it looks good on the page and feels just as good in my mouth when i read it out loud”. those questions matter so, so much to me, and they’re my version of having fun.

they’re also not what language is for. distill it down to the actual purpose, and language is for communicating. elegance in construction is a fun side bonus for those of us who care about that, but the ultimate goal of language is to be better able to fucking listen to each other.

so if somebody says to you “this is my story, these are the events that helped shape me” and you say, “you spelled crippling mental anguish wrong”, you are being a little shit. you know what they meant! but instead of engaging/asking for clarification and communicating back, you’re saying “if you don’t know all the arbitrary rules set by those with the power to set such things, you don’t get to speak. your thoughts are not valid unless you format them to my exacting standards.”

one of the best things that ever happened to me in college was a professor throwing their eyes were watching god at our class despite the fact that this was not a black lit course and saying “deal with it. it’s a great book, and if you find this language so hard to understand it makes even trying to read this book really hard for you, that’s something to sit with and think about more. if you refuse to engage with it because of that, you have fundamentally misunderstood why you’re even here.” 

at the end of the day, that’s some the best advice i’ve ever received as a writer and a person. if you can’t listen to the people around you, you have fundamentally misunderstood why you’re even here.

(i highkey recommend their eyes were watching god, by the way. it's an absolutely stunning book.)

[sunkissedspider]

Complicated | Peter Parker

Complicated | Peter Parker

Complicated | Peter Parker

MASTERLIST

***taglist is open!!! just send an ask or message me and i’ll add you :)***

***requests are open!!! just send an ask or message me your request if you have one :)***

pairing: Peter Parker x reader

summary: your and Peter's relationship is strictly physical... but what happens when feelings get in the way?

warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex (please wrap it before you tap it), making out, language, fluff, etc.

listen to: i love you, bitches broken hearts, wish you were gay, and my boy by Billie Eilish (get ready for some Sad Vibes™ and some Angry Vibes™)

word count: 5.9k+ (👀👀)

a/n: parts of this are super angsty and sad. does it have a happy ending?... we'll see 👀. sorry for any spelling and/or grammar errors!!

     You and Peter had a... complicated relationship, to say the least. Not only had you two been best friends since the third grade, but you had also been sleeping with each other for a year and a half. You guys had make the decision to lose your virginities to each other, and since it went really well, you both thought "why not do this for a while?".

    No, you and Peter weren't dating, you were strictly friends with benefits. Honestly, you sometimes didn't understand why you guys weren't official, but then you remembered the conversation that you two had had with each other after the first few times you guys had sex. The conversation about how if sleeping with each other didn't ruin your friendship, dating probably would. Sure, you two still did the same things that you did before you guys had first slept together. Movie nights every Friday after school, hours spent at the carnival with Ned, MJ, and Betty, drives to the diner at 3 am whenever you got bored... only now, they were followed by absolutely mind-blowing sex. It was never awkward after though, like how you originally thought it would be.

    You found it funny how you could always tell whenever Peter was horny; the way he would squirm in his seat, how he would move his textbooks to cover the bulge in his jeans, how needy he was, and no many other countless things. You couldn't even remember how many times you'd be watching t.v. on his couch, and he'd just lean over and kiss your neck in the way that drove you crazy, and then you'd end up having fucking incredible sex on every surface of his apartment.

    But the times weren't always happy. Sometimes you'd fight. And when you cough, you fought. Yelling, screaming, doors slamming, the whole shebang. You two fought like you were a couple, but you knew you'd never be an actual one, and you kind of liked it that way, if you were being honest. You got all of the sex and the talking and (most) of the good things, all without the commitment (even though you both weren't sleeping or dating other people). And you always had thought that Peter liked it that way too.

***

    "Petey!" You exclaimed, sitting down in front of him at the cafeteria, his eyes moving to look up at you from his phone. "I've got an idea."

    "What is it?" He asked, with raised suspicion in his voice, noticing your wicked smile.

    "Can we please, please, please go to that abandoned building that we drove past that one time?" You whisper-scream, your eyes darting all around Peter's face, trying to guess his response.

    "Absolutely not," He breathes out, laughing quietly. "That place looks haunted as fuck. There's no way in hell I'm going in there."

    "But I love scary shit! Please, Peter?" You plead, giving him the best puppy dog eyes you could, but he just looks away from you.

    "No way, Y/N L/N." He elaborates, taking a sip of your water that he had stolen from you.

    "Come on, Pete." You whined, before lowering your voice, reaching to race small circles on one of his forearms and hands. "I'll do that thing that you like so much." You bit your lip softly, looking up at him through your long eyelashes, knowing that it drives him crazy.

    He clenches his jaw, a slight blush covering his cheeks, looking up at the ceiling in thought for a moment before looking back at you, his eyes darkened with lust. "Fine. But only because you're my best friend and you're really good at it."

***

    It was about two hours after Peter dropped you off at your apartment that he knocked on your door, his "adventure bag" in his hands.

    "Ready?" He asked, holding up two flash lights, an excited smile on his face.

    You nodded eagerly, saying goodbye to your parents before grabbing your own bag, meeting Peter out in the hallway. He grabbed onto your hand softly, both of you walking out of your apartment building, matching goofy grins on your faces.

***

    "Here you go," Peter laughed, opening the passenger side door for you, shutting it when you were buckled in. "You excited?" He asked after sliding into the car, buckling his won seatbelt.

    "Very," You said, laughing slightly as you looked through all of the personal mix CDs that you and Peter had made together, perfectly fitting your matching taste in music. "I can't believe I actually convinced you to go with me."

    "I get to spend, like... Wait, three hour drive there, we'll spend, like, two hours there, and then three hour drive back... Yeah, I get to spend eight extra hours with you, so, really, it's awesome either way." He breathed out, looking over at your as you continued flipping through the CDs, looking up at him briefly to smile at him.

"I, uh, I bought some extra stuff from Mr. Delmar's too." He said, reaching into the back seat of his car, grabbing his, what you two called it, adventure bag. "Two sandwiches with pickle, a couple packs of gum, two Cokes, a few waters, and another CD." He says, smiling at you, reaching over to do your handshake, but you just ignored it. Instead, you leaned over the center console, hugging Peter tightly.

    He just smiled, hugging you back even tighter, moving his head to kiss you on the cheek before you two smiled even wider, pulling away before starting the radio, Peter pulling out of the parking lot, the GPS on his phone already coming on, telling him to turn left in six miles.

***

    "Okay, okay. Uhm... Jennifer Aniston?" You asked, taking a sip of your water.

    "Oh, hell yeah. I'd do her in a heartbeat." He says almost immediately, causing you both to laugh loudly.

    "Harry Styles?" He asks, switches lanes on the highway as you smile widely.

    "Abso-fuckin'-lutely! How could anyone not wanna fuck him?" You both laugh, before Peter's face suddenly turns serious.

    "Are you, uh... Are you, ya know, sleeping with anyone else?" He asks, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulps nervously.

    You scoff, slapping Peter playfully on the chest. "No, Pete. I'm shocked that someone as hot as you wants to sleep with me. Besides, I like having sex with you. You're fucking amazing in bed." You giggle quietly, looking at the way Peter's cheeks are flushed a bright red at your praise.

    Peter tries his best to not let a cocky smile take over his face. Obviously he knows how good he is in bed. The noises that you make and the praises that you give him are more than enough for him to know what he's doing is good.

    "Are- Are you?" You ask, butterflies flying around deep in your stomach. You knew that you and Peter weren't official. But, for some reason, the thought of him sleeping with another girl made you sick to your stomach.

    "Nope. I've never even come close to it. I'm comfortable with you, and sleeping with you is always nice. I don't trust anyone as much as I trust you, and you know how important trust is to me." He breathes out, laughing nervously.

    You let out a breath that you were holding. If Peter had been sleeping with another person, he would've told you, and you would've been able to tell even before that. You two were best friends, after all. You knew Peter better than you knew yourself, and vise versa.

***

    You and Peter had a blast at the old building, and he ended up being glad that you could convince him to go. Well, he would be gone either way just to spend time with you, but it was cute seeing how much you wanted him to join you.

    It's never awkward hanging out with Peter even though you two are sleeping together. Well, it's usually never awkward. If it is, it's only ever when he's dropping you back off at your apartment. You never know whether you two should kiss or if you should just do your secret handshake. That was the one thing you could never figure out about Peter; "Does he wanna kiss me? Does he not wanna kiss me? Do I wanna kiss him?" were the thoughts that ran through your brain constantly, and most of the time you couldn't even look into Peter's eyes when he dropped you off at your place.

    He was always gentleman though. Especially when you two were having sex. He would always make sure that you were okay, constantly reminding you of how beautiful you were, how good you felt, how much he was enjoying it, while still making sure you were, etc.

    Along with the incredible sex, you and Peter had a nearly unbreakable bond... and you weren't sure if you wanted to test how it could break. Peter is the best friend you've ever had. He was always there to listen, to talk, to be your shoulder to cry on, and so many other things. He was your partner in crime, your ride or die, your boyfriend that wasn't a boyfriend... but who knows, maybe you did want to be with Peter. Even you didn't know the answer to that. And you didn't know if you ever would.

***

    "I've got some news!" You squealed, sitting down across from Peter at the lunch table, where you always sat. It had been a few days since you and Peter had gone on your little road trip together, and you had already planned to go back again the following weekend.

    "What is it?" He asked, smiling when he saw how happy you were.

    "Alright... guess who just asked me out to the movies on Friday..." You said, you're eyes blowing wide with excitement.

    It took Peter everything in him to not clench his jaw in anger, trying his best to keep a happy smile on his face. "Who?" He asked, one of his hands holding yours and he rubbed his thumb over the smooth skin.

    "Brennan fucking Daniels!" You exclaimed, your smile even wider.

    "Oh shit! That's awesome!" Peter said, lying to you for the first time in years.

    He hated Brennan. Not just because he liked you and you liked him, or the fact that you and Peter were sleeping with each other, but because he was an asshole. Sure, he seemed nice on the outside, but Peter knew just how cruel he could be. Brennan used to live in the apartment next to Peter's, and even though you lived in the apartment right below Peter's, you never really saw Brennan. But Peter saw, and heard, everything. He saw how in the mornings girls would leave Brennan's apartment with tears in their eyes, their sneakers in their hands as they sped down the hallways, not wanting anyone to know that they were crying. He would date another beautiful girl every two weeks, and then he would throw them away just like they were nothing. Brennan Daniels was a player, he always had been and he always would be, and Peter was shocked that someone as incredible as you was going after an asshole like that.

    "I'm sorry that I'm missing movie nigh for the first time in... what? Six years? Seven years? But I promise you that I'll stop by your apartment as soon as my date is over. How about we watch The Notebook this time?" You asked, your eyes turning sad slightly, feeling bad that you would miss hanging out with Peter for a few hours.

    "It's fine, don't worry about it. Just have fun and enjoy the movie. I'll stop by Mr. Delmar's and grab some snacks, but just take your time." Peter said, putting on his best fake smile. Here he was again, as always, being the supportive best friend that he always was, putting you happiness ahead of his.

    "Are you sure, Pete? Because I can reschedule, it's not a problem." You ask, making sure that Peter was really okay with it.

    "Positive, just have fun." He fake smiled at you again, trying his best to convince you.

    You just smiled, squeezing his hand before turning to talk to Ned, Betty, and MJ, not noticing the small, single tear sliding slowly down the smooth skin of his face, before he wiped it away quickly, leaning forward to join the conversation that you were having with everyone else.

***

    "Fuck, Brennan! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" You moaned, your back slamming against Brennan's toned chest as his grip on your waist tightened quickly as his pounded into you at a harsh, rough speed, hitting a spot so deep inside of you that your eyes rolled back as you let out a loud, choked out moan.

    "Holy fucking shit. Fuck, are you gonna cum?" He groaned into your ear, his thrusts starting to become sloppier and sloppier as you both came closer to your highs each time he hit deep inside of you.

    "Fuck, yes!" You moaned loudly, squealing loudly when he flipped you both, now pounding into even quicker as he looked into your eyes before dipping his head down, biting hard onto your collar bone, the force of his hips slapping against yours was enough for your bed to slam against the wall repeatedly, making you even gladder that your parents were on a date.

    "Fucking cum for me, Y/N. Shit!" He groaned, his words only spurring you on further until, with one specifically deep thrust, you came undone underneath him, your walls squeezing him tightly as you moaned loudly, causing him to reach his own orgasm as he quickly pulled out of you, pumping hi cock harshly before he released onto your stomach, moaning out you name loudly as his head went back, before he collapsed onto your bed beside you.

    "Fuck," You breathed out, your chest heaving up and down quickly as you tried quickly to regulate your breathing. "That was fucking incredible."

    "Yeah. Shit, I thought that you'd be good in bed, but I didn't think you'd be that good." He laughed, looking over at you as he lifted one of his muscular arms above his head, looking over at you before asking you a questions that made butterflies appear in your stomach again. "How many people have you slept with. I know you couldn't have been a virgin before that, you were too good."

    "Only one, but I've slept with him a lot before." You breathe out, laughing quietly, before you looked over at Brennan, seeing him start to stand up, gathering his clothes that were scattered all over the floor. "What are you doing?" You ask, trying not to sound nervous.

    "I have football practice tomorrow and I need to go home and sleep, but could I see you again sometime soon? I, uh, I had a lot of fun tonight, and I really wanna see you again." He said, slipping his shirt on over his head, pulling his boxers on before he went to your desk, grabbing a towel before walking over to you, wiping his seed off of your stomach for you.

    "I'd like that." You said, reaching a hand softly around one side of his neck, pulling his head down to yours, your lips meeting in a soft kiss.

    After he got dressed and you threw on a pair of sweats and one of your (Peter's) hoodies, you walked Brennan to your front door, stepping into the hallway before kissing him deeply, your arms wrapped around his neck as you stood on your tippy toes, him leaning down to reach your lips, your figure seeming small compared to his 6'5 height.

    "Bye." He said, smiling against your lips before pulling away, clearing his throat loudly when he saw Peter standing at the end of the hallway, his eyes blown wide at the sight of you two kissing in such an intimate way. It made his blood boil and his jaw clench when he saw how you smiled and how happy you seemed when you kissed him.

    "Peter? What are you doing here?" You said, raised alarm in your voice. "I'll see you soon, Brennan." You said, waving him goodbye as Peter walked over to you, your body leaning against your front door frame.

    "What was all of that about?" Peter asks, watching Brennan as he walked away, only turning to look at you when he saw him turn down the hallway.

    "It's nothing, Pete. I thought I was meeting you at your place?" You ask, smiling at Peter, trying to ignore how awkward it was that the guy you were sleeping with caught you with a guy you had just slept with.

    "It's late, I didn't want something bad to happen to you." He smiles back, trying his best to cover the pain he felt.

***

    "Did you guys have sex?" Peter asked, causing you to turn your head away from his t.v., his tone a serious one, a large contrast to the funny, happy scene that was going on during the movie.

    "What?" You ask, laughing, assuming he was joking as you took some popcorn into your hand, your eyes back on the screen as you snacked.

    "Did you sleep with Brennan?" He asked, butterflies flying all around his stomach, nervous about the answer.

    "Yeah," You shrugged, eyes still following the characters around on the screen. "It doesn't really mean anything though."

    "Are you kidding? God, Jesus Christ, please tell me that you're joking." He said, causing you to look at him deeply in the eyes.

    "What's wrong, Pete-" You start, before getting interrupted.

    "'What's wrong?'?... 'What's wrong?'?! Gee, I don't know, Y/N. Maybe the fact that you fucked goddamn Brennan Daniels. You know he's just gonna leave you, right? He does that with every girl he fucks! And maybe its the fact that you didn't even ask me if you could sleep with him?!" Peter yelled, the first time he's ever yelled at you, his jaw clenched tightly, as he talked with his hands, his leg bouncing up and down, a sign that he was angry.

    "Why does it matter so much? It's not like you're my boyfriend!" you snapped back, your body turned to face Peter's.

    "What if I want to be? Have you ever though about that?" He shot back, his eyes darkened with anger.

    "What are you talking about, Peter?" You said, your voice now back to normal, your eyes blown wide as you tried to make sense of what Peter was telling you.

    "Nothing... It's nothing. Get out." He said, his hands going to cover his eyes.

    "What?" You asked, your voice breaking at the harsh words coming from your best friend. From the one person that you trusted the most in this world.

    "Just get out! Get the fuck out!" Peter screamed at you even louder than before, his hands moving from his face to his sides as he stood up, looking at you right in your eyes.

    "Fine." You said, standing up, moving to his front door, slowly opening it, before turning around to look at him again. "Goodbye, Peter." And with that, you left his apartment, quietly closing door, constant streams of tears falling down your face as you desperately tried to wipe them away with the sleeve of Peter's hoodie, his scent that was imprinted on it only making you cry harder.

***

    Peter tried to come by your apartment, climbing down the fire escape from his apartment down to yours. He was about to tap on your window until he saw you on your bed; you sat there, crumpled up in a little ball, wrapped in Peter's sweatshirt and your blankets, only your bedside table light on as you cried, your cheeks stained red from your tears.

    "Fuck," Peter breathed out. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He muttered before walking back up the fire escape again. His eyes stung as tears pricked up in his waterlines, realizing how bad he had fucked up... realizing that he had lost you.

***

    You sat with Brennan the next day at lunch, trying to avoid Peter as much as you could, which was hard since you had almost all of the same classes. Of course, the awkward eye contact happened a few time in the following weeks of not speaking to him.

    By the third week, both you and Peter had cut everyone off. Even though you were happy with Brennan, and you believed that he truly liked you, you were sluggish and quieter than you usually were. Unless you and Brennan were having sex, you were always bored. You missed the excitement that Peter brought into your life. He was Spider-Man, for Christ's sake, and you missed the way that he would explain his adventures of the day to you, even if most of them were very eventful. You missed the way that his eyes would light up whenever he saw you, or the way his grin would turn cheesy whenever you said a bad, corny dad joke. You missed the way that he made you feel special. Not just durning sex, but whenever you questioned yourself. Whenever you thought  that you looked bad, or whenever you thought that you were stupid because you got a bad grade on a test.

    Peter had always been there for you. Ever since you were nine years old. But now you didn't know if you would ever talk to him again. You tried not to think about it much, but whenever a teacher would say something that you could turn into a "That's what she said" joke, you would always curse yourself for looking next to you at Peter, forgetting for just a brief moment that he wasn't your best friend anymore. That he wasn't even your acquaintance anymore. That he was now just some guy that sat next to you in almost all of your classes. In a few months, you knew that Peter wouldn't even exist to you anymore, and that right now, you probably didn't even exist to Peter at all.

***

    By this point, it had been two months since you had talked to the only person you had ever trusted with everything in you. You and Brennan had broken up a few weeks after the first time you slept together, and everyone was shocked when they found out that you had broken up with him, not the other way around like everyone had expected, Peter was especially surprised. He thought that you had really liked Brennan. Even if you had liked Brennan as much as Peter and everyone had thought, you knew that you couldn't be with him. Other than the fact that he was obviously cheating on you, you did want to stay with the person that had prompted the fight that had ended your friendship with Peter. Part of Peter wanted you to come back and be his friend again immediately, but the other part of Peter knew that that kind of situation wasn't going to happen. He had shut you out and yelled at you for doing something that he couldn't even really control. After all, he had told you that it was fine for you to go on a date with Brennan. And he had known that you probably were going to sleep with him. You were teenagers, that's what teenagers do.

    Peter at this point wasn't even talking to May. It first started when he had quit smiling when they would go get Thai, remembering that it was something you used to join in on. Whenever May would bring you up, Peter's jaw would clench and he'd try and change the subject as quickly as possible. May knew that something was up with your and Peter's friendship after she hadn't seen you for a week. You were either always at Peter's place, he was always at your place, or you guys were always driving around somewhere upstate.

    "Peter," May started, walking in front of him as he was seated on the couch, typing away on his laptop as he worked on an assignment for physics. "What happened to Y/N? I haven't seen her in months."

    "It's nothing. She's just busy." He dismissed as he continued typing quickly.

    "Even when you're both busy, you always find a way to see each other. This is the longest I've seen you be without her since the third grade, Pe-" She said before getting interrupted by Peter.

    "I said it's nothing." He said sternly, his voice turning cold.

    "Peter-"

    "I said it's nothing, May! Jesus Christ, it's fucking nothing!" He yelled, slamming his laptop closed as he got off of the couch, making his way into his bedroom.

    "Peter, you have to tel, me what's going on here. I've never seen you like this. What the hell is wrong?" May asked, concern filling her voice.

    "Shit! I love her. God, I love her, May. I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t do anything. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate. Please… just tell me what to do.” Peter begged, hot tears beginning to stream down his face, his eyes and cheeks turning red from the overload of emotions he was feeling.

    "I'm sorry to say it, but you can’t do anything when you love someone like that, Peter. But you have to tell her or you’ll go crazy." She said, her eyes turning soft. She felt sympathy for Peter, she knew exactly what he was going through.

    "I don’t want mess up what her and I have. I can’t lose her, May. I can't." Peter chokes out through tears.

    "Just tell her how you feel, Peter. And pray that it’ll work out well."

    "It’s not that simple, May! It’s more complicated than that! I’m sorry that I’m yelling, but I’m suffocating in my own feelings over here! Either I’m numb or I’m feeling everything, May… I can’t do this, it’s too much." Peter said, sinking onto the floor as he let his emotions take over him. May immediately ran over to him, sitting down next to him on the floor, hugging him tightly as he sobbed into May's neck, his hot tears soaking her striped shirt.

    "You need to go talk to her, Peter. As soon as you possibly can, or you're gonna lose it before you can even say her name." ay said, kissing the top of his head as she pulled away, looking at Peter with sadness in her eyes as he tried to wipe some of is tears away with his hoodie, the one that you had given back to him by leaving it in a brown paper bag my his window on the fire escape.

***

    You sat on your bed, trying your best to read one of your favorite books in a desperate attempted to make yourself feel better as one of your and Peter's favorite playlists played quietly in the background.

    You jumped sightly when you heard the tapping on your window... it had been a while since you had heard it. Butterflies swarmed your stomach when you saw Peter, and you tried your best to wipe away the tears that filled your eyes and that trailed down your face slowly.

    You and Peter looked at each other for the longest time you had in two months, both of you not breathing when you unlocked and opened your window, stepping back to let Peter climb through.

    "Can I hug you?" He asked, more tears forming in your eyes as you heard him speak to you for the first time in two months.

    "Y-yeah." You managed to choke out.

    That was all Peter needed to hear before he wrapped his arms tightly around you, both of you immediately sobbing loudly into each other's embrace.

    "Fuck, Y/N. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Peter said over and over again, your head buried in his chest.

    "I'm sorry, Peter. I should've talked to you, I should've asked you. God, I'm so sorry, Pete." You cried, both of your grips tightening around each other.

    "No, it's my fault. I overreacted. It's just that... I- I..." Peter stuttered out, his grip around you loosening as you stepped only a few feet away to get a good look at his face.

    "What is it, Peter?" You asked, one of your hands going up to cup one of his cheeks, rubbing your thumb around the skin, remembering how much you had missed the smoothness of it.

    "I-, I'm just gonna say it because I can't think of any other way to put it... Y/N L/N, I'm in love with you. I'm so in love with you that it hurts. I've been in love with you since we were nine years old, and that's the reason I freaked out about Brennan. I love you so fucking much, Y/N. Jesus Christ, I can't breathe without you, I can't sleep, I can barely even do my fucking homework without you being around me. And I know that yo probably don't feel the same way about me, and that's okay, but-" He breathed out, a weight visibly lifting from is shoulders and he continued rambling, before you interrupted him.

    "Peter, shut the fuck up." You laughed, causing him to top dead in his tracks.

    "W-what?" He asked, his eyes widening with fear.

    "I'm in love with you too, Peter. God, how could I not be? You're the sweetest, smartest, funniest guy I know. And I am so in love with you that I can't even read my favorite fucking book!" You said before stepping closer to him, your arms slowly starting to wrap themselves softly around his neck.

    "Can I kiss you?" He asked, his arms starting wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to each other.

    "Please." You breathe out quietly.

    And with that, you and Peter kissed for the first time in what felt like forever. Just two dumb and in love kids. You stood up on your tippy toes to deepen the kiss. It was one of those movie kisses... the total sparks flying, butterflies in the stomach kisses. It was one of the main things that you had missed. You missed how perfectly his lips molded to your, like they were two puzzle pieces that could only fit together with the other.

    "Peter," You moaned when he started to kiss down your neck, his hands quickly lifting your sweatshirt off of you, you crawling onto the bed when you felt the backs of your legs hit your bed. "Please." You said, Peter's body situated between yours as he kissed your neck, his sweatshirt already discarded somewhere on your floor, your bare chests pressed against each other's.

    "Please what?" He smirked against your chest, nipping on your bare breasts lightly.

    "Fuck, make love to me, Peter." You begged, your back arching and a moan escaping your lips from the love bites Peter was giving you.

    He looked up at you for a few seconds, your eyes meeting his, a soft smile covering your face as you ran your hands through Peter's curly brown locks, missing how they felt against your fingers.

    You met your lips with Peter's, telling hi that you wanted him, and he kissed you back, a way of him showing you that it wanted you back.

    Peter pulled away after a few minutes, his fingers going to the waistband of your sweatpants, pulling them down, along with your underwear, before sitting back to take his own off. You licked your lips when his member sprung up against his lower stomach. If you both weren't so needy right now, you would've taken your time. But you two needed each other now more than ever.

    Peter hovered over you again, his body between yours, is hard length in his hand.

    "Ready?" He asked. The things that boy did to you... he always made you feel special, you didn't understand how he did it... it just came natural to him.

    "Yes..." You whispered, connecting your lips with his as he slid into you, both of you moaning loudly into each other's mouths.

    "Fuck!" You said in sync, your legs wrapping around Peter's waist before he started with a slow pace, wanting to make it last. He knew it probably wouldn't last as long as he would want it to, but goddamn, you felt fucking incredible around him.

    "Shit, you're so tight!" He groaned, his head dipping down to kiss your lips tenderly, your lips parting to deepen the kiss as his thrusts sped up, causing you to whimper loudly into his mouth as he groaned.

    "Fuck, Peter!" You screamed when he hit a spot so deep inside of you that it made your head spin as your back arched, your chests pressing against each other's even more, the feeling of Peter's skin on yours feeling like heaven.

    Even with all of the experience Brennan had, Peter knew how your body worked better than you did yourself. He knew just what to do to get you to come undone underneath him, to have your eyes squeeze tightly shut, to have you screaming him name in only minutes.

    "God, fuck," He groaned, his head going to suck deep purple marks into the crook of your neck, loud moans leaving the both of you. "Jesus, I'm already close, baby. I don't know how long I'm gonna last. You feel t fucking good around me."

    "Fuck, cum for me, Peter. Please." You begged, your eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of Peter hitting deep inside of you, along with the words and groans coming out of his mouth.

    He reached his hand down in between the two of you, rubbing harsh, tight circles on your clit, causing you to move your hands into his hair, tugging harshly as you came closer and closer to reaching your high.

    "Fuck, P-Peter! I'm gonna cum!" You screamed, Peter groaning into your ear only spurring you on, along with the sensations on your clit. Within seconds, you were coming undone around him, your walls clenching tightly around his length as your legs tightened around his waist, your arms hugging his body closer to your.

    And with only a few final thrusts, Peter was a complete groaning mess, his hips stilling as he came inside of you, his body collapsing on top of yours when his strength completely gave out, his head falling onto your chest.

    The next few moments were spent in a comfortable silence, your hands smoothing up and down Peter's arms and back and you both tried to get your breathing to calm down.

    "Y/N?" Peter said, looking up at you with his beautiful brown eyes. The sight would melt anybody's heart immediately, you were sure of it.

    "Yeah, Pete?" You said, kissing his forehead before meeting his eyes again.

    "God, I'm gonna sound like a little kid, but, uh... will you, ya know, be my girlfriend? Just us? No one else?" He asked, his heart rate speeding up a bit out of nervousness.

    "Of course, dummy." You laughed, Peter moving up to connect your lips in a soft kiss, both of you feeling completely safe.

    "I love you." He said, smiling between kisses.

    "I love you too, Peter."

__________

@ertherealrose​ @peter-tiingle​ @petertiingz​ @fallinfortom​

[helenazbmrskai]

ONE TIME BOY [SPACE] FRIEND

👠Pairing: Jimin x fem! reader 👠Genre: makeover au, best friends to lovers au, gender bender au, beauty contest au 👠Warnings: light smut, semi-public oral (f and m receiving), mirror kink, cameo crazy girl hungry to be miss universe lol 👠Summary: Rejected by your long-time crush using the excuse of not being girly enough your best friend offers you his shoulder to cry on, his eyes land on the daily newspaper advertising the local beauty contest and he gets an excellent idea.  

👠Words: 10k

👠Masterlist

”Man, I’m impressed you got an A in Mrs Hoster’s class. It’s notorious that she’s a real bitch with gradings.” I hear the rustling of papers and an oddly familiar laugh overpowering the previous noise the corridor is empty despite those two and me apparently. I stop in my tracks not intently but hiding behind the corner, they have no idea I’m here it’s a blind spot but hearing his voice getting stronger they need to be walking this way.

Mrs Hoster? I’m in her class too. I peek around the corner to see to whom this voice belongs to it’s badly familiar.

”Y/N helped me write the essay so it was an easy job.”

I turned around just in time to avoid getting caught. I closed my eyes for a split second the cold white wall helped me to steady the beating of my heart. It’s Han and his friend I recall his name is something Wu? I’m not sure I don’t interact with Han’s friends he’s the one who always hangs around my friends.

”Did you slept together?” Wu asks and my face turns red immediately. How vulgar not that I’m surprised just caught off guard. Han laughs again.

”No, I’m not interested in girls like her. She’s like a boy.” Looking down on my clothes the baggy shirt and ripped jeans my hair is long at least. I know I’m not the most stylish girl on campus but calling me a boy was a bit harsh considering I wrote everything in that essay of his the only thing he did is writing down the title but I’m not going around school telling my best friend he’s stupid.

”I know, I can’t believe she’s roommates with Jimin maybe he thinks she’s another dude or something too.” The audacity.

”Don’t mention him he keeps his guards on whenever he sees me with her it’s annoying. I’m lucky she’s wiped because knowing that guy his humanitarian soul already told her she’s used and I need my grades. The only thing she’s usable for is homework.” The annoyance is evident in his voice I don’t need to look to imagine how he pinches his nose between two of his fingers while talking.

My teeth clashed together with anger. Calling me a boy is one thing but pulling the honey string before my nose is something only a jerk would do. Yes, he’s handsome I admit that and I hoped for something to go forward between us and how foolish I was to think that. He wanted to think we stand a chance it was his plan all along and he used me. Jimin warned me. He told me this will happen.

"Are you seriously going to stop being Han's little puppy?" The question stirs me awake I feel like someone under a spell after what I witnessed I became awfully quiet around my friend and she noticed the change in my behaviour immediately. We arranged this meet up before I overheard the conversation with Han in fact I was on my way to her when it’s happened my mood was pretty good. I can’t tell the same half an hour later.

I stop mid-bite and aim my sauce-covered index finger to poke her nose but she dodged it before I could ruin her makeup. I abandon the plan and instead I use a napkin to clean my hands I look down on my plate which is still full of comfort food I thought that if I drown myself in junk food it would lift my mood but I couldn't be any more wrong about this.

Rori almost doesn't catch the sound of my tired sigh because of the Mcdonalds’ heavily crowded space by the time lunchtime rolled around the corner it's a miracle that we were able to find a tiny table with two seats inside.

"I wasn't his puppy." I spit the words out gnashing my teeth. Not very ladylike but bloody hell that I would care since I’m a boy I may act like one. "Also it was just a silly crush not that it will ever be more. It's time to move on. I'm too old to have this stupid high school like interest." Yes, I’m a grown-ass woman studying at a University.

"Uh-huh." Rori rolls her eyes suspicious about my sudden change of heart if I'm going to, be honest, there is nothing more that could go wrong on this day I tripped in front of at least 10 people when I was going to the toilet just before I was going to tell my friend how I was humiliated by my crush of 2 years. A very good day if you ask me.

"Jimin knows about this?" I look her dead in the eye conveying the message without words knowing where this conversation going I abandon my food entirely I nibble on my straw drinking my medium-sized coke occasionally. "So he doesn't." She states it sarcastically with her light green gel polished nails annoyingly drumming on the surface of the table.

"It's none of his business anyway." I drink the last drops of the coke before tossing the empty cup on the tray nearly knocking the fries out of their container.

"Why the sour face Y/N. He would be upset if he heard that. Aren't you guys are like besties and stuff?"

Now is not the time to be jealous.

"He's not a cry baby Rori. And we are best friends without the 'besties and stuff'. I thought you liked him." She nods in confirmation stealing one of my fries chewing them in a manner that makes people disgusted.

”We are besties and stuff.” I tell her with a grin and she finally smiles too. We’re like two peas in a pot the memory is still vivid when I first bumped into her quite literally. I was panicking since I didn’t know the route to my first class and on top of that I overslept on my first day she was no better.

”But back to the topic, girl, I’m on your side Han is a five-star shit head. I’m glad you finally realised that.” She’s right like always.

”The resident fuckface, huh?” I sent her a lopsided smile and she raised her hand to give me a thumbs up. Her favourite game is to give people alternative names. Han’s called the resident bad boy around here, she has an alternative option that I begin to like more and more.

”That’s the spirit. Want a ride? It’s going to rain soon.” Rori uses the napkins to clean our mess on the table. There’s no need for sherlock to see why we are still single. We eat like a pig starved for days. Looking out the window her words seem to be accurate the clouds covered the sun and the temperature decreased.

”Nah. I’m just going to be like the protagonist in your favourite rom-com and walk home in the pouring rain sadness devouring my soul while I drench like a homeless.”

Rori rolled her eyes at my dramatic response. ”That was awfully specific.” I shrug, getting up to dispose of the leftovers into a nearby bin.

 With my eyes glued to the screen I pop another sickeningly sweet caramel popcorn into my mouth I surrounded myself with fuzzy blankets enjoying the late afternoon with binge-watching my all-time favourite series. Warming my cold feet under the comforter I remind myself not to forget to turn down the heater around the time Jimin comes home.

My hair is wetly clinging to my back soaking the headrest of the sofa I take a glance outside it’s still raining hard. As soon as I got home I changed my clothes but let my hair dry itself without making any effort it doesn't matter if I get sick or not. This way maybe I can avoid Han for a few days at least. Walking in the rain like a kicked puppy was not something I anticipated while waking up this morning but I guess I have to work with what I have.

After I was beyond the sadness the anger came, remembering all the times when he asked me to help with his essays or research projects and like a fool, I went out of my way to do that. It's for the better honestly if I observe the situation from a different perspective he was just using me and it's time for me to get over this silly crush of mine. I don’t even know what was I thinking.

Knowing what’s best is one thing but I'm still hurting I was pinning after him for over two years we share the same classes and we run in the same circles of friends. How can I possibly avoid him when I have to see him every day and skipping classes is not an option? It’s ridiculous and I’m not five anymore to solve my problems cowardly.

The only thing went right this day that Jimin is caught up with his classes so he won't be coming home until late. He sent me a text earlier that his professor wanted to keep that lesson which was cancelled last week so he won't be home as usual.

I didn't want him to see me like this so I embraced all of my pent up frustration and let everything out so I can act as if nothing happened when it’s time to face him. I can imagine how pissed off Jimin would be if he knew I didn't take a shower after arriving home in my soaked clothes and instead I rummaged through our apartment to seize up every gift and memory regarding him to throw it out. The passerby’s probably thought I’m some kind of a crazy chick throwing out my boyfriend's stuff from the 8th floor into the rain as a form of revenge and maybe they’re not so wrong considering that I just yelled through the window and told everyone to fuck off. He’s not my boyfriend but it felt good enough not to care.

I don't want to tell Jimin what I overheard since he always told me Han is a jerk and I shouldn't have wasted my time on useless scumbags like him. The plot twist is that he was right but I don't need to hear that I stopped denying that I knew that deep down but too stubborn to admit it.

I wanted my high school crush to notice me and have my silly happy ending. But in fact, this is not a Disney movie and I’m not a princess with a destinated prince charming. Knowing Jimin’s kind heart he would never rub salt into my open wound he would rather sit with me and watch sappy romcoms saying those sweet nothings like I'll find someone who deserves all of my attention and stuff like that. He would never say ‘I told you so’ in a mocking tone spicing it up with an eye roll like Rori did not long ago.

"Gilmore girls? Uh-huh, I smell something fishy here missy." Surprised to hear my roommate I glance away from the tv giving his form an attentive look. Jimin shakes the droplets out of his hair placing his umbrella next to the pile of shoes by the door after he got rid of his boots the keys metal clinking heard as he dropped them into the bowl on the counter. He stops in his tracks taking in with his eyes my torn up appearance.

"Why is your hair wet? You didn’t walk home in the rain, did you?" He hastily takes off his jacket and throws it on the couch sitting down next to me.

I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I didn't hear when the front door opened. I shrugged, indicating that it's no biggie I glance away from him and stare at the tv watching as the romantic scene unfolds on the screen. Fucking perfect even my favourite show is making fun of me.

"Did you forgot to bring your umbrella again? I told you this morning that it'll rain sweetheart." Distracted by the sweet words of worry I let his comforting heat envelop me as our sides pressed up together on the couch. To an outsider, it would seem like he lectures me on my goldfish memory but I see it in his eyes how worried he looks the soft glint in them always tells me how much he cares about me. Jimin envelopes me in a hug stroking my arm up and down in vertical movements attempting to warm me up.

"I'm fine." I tell him I bury my nose into the juncture of his neck the cold touch awakes goosebumps along his skin he shivers but pulls me closer to his warm body. It’s nice being here with him I would go that far saying that I could almost forget why I was in a bad mood before.

"You're freezing cold Y/N." So warm I could sleep like this even though I turned up the heater the cold seeped into my skin I was struggling to keep myself warm maybe it was a mistake that I didn't head for the showers after arriving home. But throwing his stuff out felt so good knowing myself I would do that again, call me impulsive.

"Sorry." I murmur it into his skin he chuckles as he circles my waist with his arms to push our chests flat against each other his warm palms stroking my back the warmth trickles through the thin t-shirt I'm wearing. So this is how it feels like to have your personal heater suddenly I’m jealous of his previous girlfriends.

Not that I was ever not. Jimin is like a living equivalent of a beautiful enigma. Handsome like he was sculpted by the gods itself paired up with a very sweet and honest heart he is a jackpot well hit. And then there’s me not particularly pretty or nice and he still calls me his little angel or nowadays he seems to call me in all sort of sweet names, princess, shortcake, baby name it all he said it.

"Will you tell me why are you upset, baby?" Here we are with the nicknames again I wonder if he noticed it or he does it subconsciously. Of course, he knows something is up with me he reads me so well that it's kinda scary sometimes. Am I an open book to him or is he this generous and caring?

I always envied his caring personality in campus everyone likes Jimin he acts like an angel he listens well and gives good advice he encouraged me when I was planning to leave my studies and drop out on my second year. We are roommates since my first year here he is a year above me and through friend’s advice, we moved in together.

At first, I was resisting intimidated by the thought that he is a senior and I was just a newbie but he never stopped trying even though that I didn't show any reaction at first he kept talking to me and showering me with tiny gifts like cute notebooks and one bite foods he did most of the housework too since he claimed that being new to all of this I should focus on my studies until I got the hang of everything telling me that he was very stressed in his first year so he understands my struggles. I often think about if he is true or not that he is not just existing in my delusional head because he’s an amazing friend and an even more amazing roommate. It feels unreal that I have him.

"It's stupid." I hide my face I try to enjoy the rhythmic sound of his chest heaving lulling me to sleep. I don’t want to burden him with my rant.

"Nothing is stupid for me in the regards of you." The soft words make me keen he aligns our faces so he can meet my eye I scowl at the lost contact and he smiles seeing it. I'm sure he is aware of the reactions he extorts out of me.

"Do you want a punch?" I poke his forehead using my index finger trying to get rid of that charming smile but it just grows wider. My plan always backfires.

"Always so violent." He grabs my finger scraping it lightly with his teeth playfully seeing the horrified look on my face he smirks after attaching my soul back to my body I pull my finger out of his mouth yelling and smearing the excess saliva onto his shirt in disgust.

"Ugh! What is wrong with you?" I yell moving to the far side of the sofa looking at my finger in disbelief. He stands up clearly entertained by my reaction but he turns back before entering my room.

"Where's your blowdryer? You'll get sick if you leave your hair like this." Folding my legs under me I lock eyes with his waiting ones.

"In my drawer." I tell him and he gives me a confirming nod in return.

He comes back after a couple of minutes he has my drier in his left hand motioning for me to face away from him on the sofa so he could get access to my hair. I get comfortable as he plugs in the electric part while delicate fingers comb through my locks untangling the knots before turning the device on.

"I wish you would take better care of yourself Y/N. What would you do if I weren't here?" I lean into his gentle touch loving the way he rubs my scalp it feels like a massage not like how I usually blow dry my hair.

Now that I know what it's like I want him to dry my hair every day. But that's how Jimin works he always makes sure I'm alright he puts extra care into his motions silently helping me unwind. He’s like this with everyone and I’m aware of that but manages to make me feel special every time I guess it’s a special skill he has.

I scoot a little closer to Jimin’s body while walking which didn't go unnoticed by either on Han’s or Jimin’s side but it’s not enough to halter Han's wide smile as he greets me. As usual, he ignores Jimin and the feeling is mutual nothing out of the ordinary. I greet him back but lacking the enthusiasm which used to lace my tone. Now it’s something out of the ordinary.

"Hey Y/N, so when are we going to do that project I talked to you about? I'm free after classes today how about we meet up at our usual spot in the campus cafe?" Jimin was going to excuse himself from the situation as he did every time before but this time I hold him in place by his long sleeves I gritted my teeth holding back my witty comeback alongside the punch I want oh so badly to deliver, but what would I get out of it? He'll just jump to the next girl with better grades to help his ungrateful ass and I'm sure he won't give a flying damn about me or my feelings.

"Actually I have plans later with Jimin." I tell him holding onto Jimin's shirt for emphasis. He's lost for words for a second I never told him no before but he composed himself quickly offering a smile but this time a little tight-lipped.

"Oh, I see. Then how about tomorrow?" I let out an annoyed huff. Just who does he think he is?

"Listen to me very well resident fuckface because I'm going to tell you this once." The threat apparent in my voice he automatically steps back not used to the tone I deliver while I step forward. In the corner of my eye, I catch Jimin’s silhouette keeping his laughter inside because of the name Rori got him. It felt good to finally say it to his face.

"I heard you. Was it funny to use me? You're saying that I'm ugly and ungirly for you to date but happily let me do your homework since it's the only thing I'm useful for. Yes, I had a crush on you and yes I knew you were using me but it was a bit too much even for me to hear you laugh with your friend saying that you are not interested in fucking a boy." By the time I was done talking Jimin's protective hand found mine but I was too furious to appreciate the gesture to its full potential.

"What? I .. I didn't mean .. that Y/N I was just fooling around. Don't be a baby about it." Hearing the response angered Jimin he stepped protectively in front of me and grabbed him by the collar. I was afraid that he's going to hit him but I wasn't worried about Han. I was worried about Jimin he's too nice to hit someone.

"It's ok Jimin. Let's just go." I place my palm on his shoulder I felt calmer since I let out all my pent up anger he looks back seeing my worried expression he lets Han's shirt go.

He must mistake my worry since he strides to the building where his morning classes are held with a sour face. I go after his retreating form ignoring the yells from Han he is not important at the moment.

We planned an early morning coffee together what a shame we had to collide with Han on the way now we don't have time to grab it but I don't want Jimin to think I was protecting Han because that's not the truth. Jimin was always more important than him and he should know that. What would be even nicer than that to not voice it out and still being understood. Where is his mind-reading power when I need it?

"Jimin!" I yell his name I caught his arm as he was about to enter the building I dragged him to the side not wanting to make a scene out of the situation or block the entry.

"Can you listen to me for a second." I plead in a calm voice he looks at me with an unreadable expression on his face. He's not angry nor happy he looks completely neutral which is scarier to see than him acting all angry.

"I didn't want to meddle with your business Y/N because it's not something I have the right to do but I can't watch it anymore that you let this pathetic crush of yours destroy you. He was toying with you the whole time and you didn't care. Are you stupid or something? And even now you are worried about him. He deserved a punch but I guess since it's ok with you.."

"Stop." I warn him. He acknowledges the hurt in my eyes but it's too late. He regrets how rude he was I can see it in the way he shamefully hangs his head low.

"I wasn't worried about him! I was worried about you! Even though he deserved that punch I didn't want you to be the bad guy at the end." I tell him the reason. Knowing Han’s spineless nature he would have spread rumours about Jimin being aggressive or even worse.

"Baby." He starts but I shake my head not letting him comfort me with his touch. He's going to be late anyway. He needs to go to class his teacher is strict on punctuality.

"Don't baby me. Is that what you really think of me? A fool?" Onlookers started to form in the vicinity the only thing missing was the popcorn in their hands. Why everyone here lives for the drama?

I know I wasn't always reasonable but Jimin should know best that it was a crush and I never had a real relationship to compare it to and I was, yes, foolishly preserving the false hope that someday maybe we could be something.

But it happens to all of us, no? I just wanted what everyone else has someone to call and introduce as my boyfriend.

I'm lonely. But hearing it from him from all the people I know Jimin was the one I was comfortable with talking about this since I knew he wouldn't make fun of me.

"I'm just concerned about you. Please Y/N don't look at me like that." He wrapped his fingers around my palm stroking the flesh with his thumb hoping to get back to my right side. He has a habit of being touchy in reprehensible situations.

"Let's talk about this later. You'll be late for class." I take a glance at my wristwatch taking it as an opportunity to shake his touch off.

"I don't want you to leave angry." He catches my wrist before I could walk away. We rarely fight so Hoseok is stunned into silence when he sees us in this position.

"Hi Hobi." I greet him before taking my leave this time Jimin doesn't stop me.

"I appreciate the attempts Jimin but you know it's not edible right?" I look up with hopeful eyes that I don't need to take a pity bite. He's very sweet but he definitely doesn't get the skills in terms of cooking and I would like to live a happy and long life.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't know how else to ask for your forgiveness. We never fight and I didn't know what to do."

I take this chance to really look at him. He has my apron tied around his waist with bold letters the words 'kiss the cook' labelling the front I remember I got this for my birthday last year from him he's kinda cute in it I admit that. He fidgets in his spot in front of me taking my silence as a bad sign but I'm not someone who holds grudges for long and Jimin is one of the few people I can't even do that with even if I tried. He's just too nice.

"I know you were just looking out for me. I know you didn't mean it because I know you." I tell him offering a smile along the way so he won't overthink it and in hopes of we can get rid of this plate of trash he dares to call food.

"You're very important to me you know right?" He murmurs the words into my hair he hugs me tight and I hug him back stroking his back reassuringly. The angle is not the most comfortable one considering that I’m still in a sitting position so I had to twist my torso to hug him back and he’s taller too.

"Of course I know Jiminie." I beam.

"You never call me Jiminie unless you want me to feel better. You should be angry with me and flipping the dining table on my face." The way he pouted while talking made the situation funnier.

I laugh at the image.

"I know I'm a bit violent sometimes, but you don't think I would really shove the dining table into your face right?" I gently push him back to see his eyes I'm actually concerned if he knows that or not.

"I know." He nods giggling at how concerned my face looks.

"Good. Now that we talked about this, clean this mess up so I can cook something that can be consumed." I shoo him to start cleaning.

”Have you ever entertained the idea of reaching out for the military to get this listed on the biohazard weaponry?” I playfully ask and he gives me a glare. It was worth it.

He pecks my cheek before he begins loading the burnt food inside the bin. "What would I do without you?"

I hope it’s not an actual heart I see in his eyes because maybe I have to consider flipping that dining table.

"You would be still relying on the emergency food your mother sends you." I reply with the same playfulness he momentarily stopped every movement to look back at me, surprised that I know about his little secret.

"Who told you that? It was Hoseok, wasn't it?" He manages to look at me with narrowed eyes.

"It's fine. You do a lot of stuff for me so cooking for you is really nothing. And I love how you eat like a pig it means you really love it." The narrowness dissolves into a big grin and dilated pupils.

"The girls I dated didn't phrase it like that." He chuckles.

"What did they didn't like about that? You are so adorable when your cheeks are full of food. I mean I was going crazy about your munching noises but I'm used to it now." I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly I remember how at first I wasn't able to sit at the same table as him I always disliked the sound of munching but now I don't even notice it sometimes.

"I know what Han said hurt you Y/N. But you know it's not true right?" He asks in a more serious tone the previous light atmosphere went gloomy so fast.

"Which one? That no one would want to fuck a tomboy like me? Or that I'm only good for making others homework?" I say it jokingly but he was buying none of my bullshit. He knows I'm still pretty upset about it.

"Neither of those." I'm flattered how severely he stated it at least one of us are confident in me.

"How would you know that? I didn't do either of those for you." I roll my eyes anyway I'm not that easy to convince. Self-love and rainbows and shit are not something I'm currently feeling. Saying nice things is what flows through Jimin’s veins more than blood. He is that nice.

"You are beautiful Y/N and I have an idea of how we are going to get back at Han." The lunatic laugh he does scares me but I curiously ask what he meant by that.

"What's that?" I ask straining my neck to see the advertisement. I shouldn't have done that. The article on the front page alarms me with bold letters. Under the words a girl with very white teeth on display putting the toothpaste commercials to shame. The catchy slogan seeping out of her mouth ’try out your beauty here and don’t forget the most important thing is not winning but also to gain experience’ What a full of crap saying. Only the ones who don’t win say shit like that.

My skin pales as soon as I see the way Jimin eyes me.

"The hell to the fuck no. A beauty contest? Are you insane? I'm not going to do that." Only for my words to fell on deaf ears.

"Is this really necessary Jimin?" My voice is full of uncertainty. I don’t remember the last time I went to see a hairdresser maybe when I was back in my hometown. And if I remember correctly it was for my high school graduation. Time flies fast.

"Yes, it is babe. You're going to look the best I'm sure you'll rank first place and make your ex-crush poop his pants." I roll my eyes but I can't help the laughing noises escaping my sealed lips. The assistant shows me the seat that I take with a shy following ’thank you’. I’m suddenly feeling nervous about this.

"At this point, I would rather do this because of you. I want to make you proud of me." I avoid his eyes I feel bashful enough that I dared to say it out loud for him to hear.

"But sweetheart I'm already proud of you." His palms rested on the back of my chair we were still waiting for the hairdresser to start her magic on me. We lock eyes through the mirror in front of me due to the eye contact Jimin’s eyes turn darker with a feeling I can’t truly decipher I haven’t seen him acting like this. I open my mouth to question his stare when the assistant’s high voice interrupts me.

"How long have you been guys dating? You're such a lovely couple." I catch Jimin’s widening smile he’s watching me not rushing to correct the girl like I do.

"Oh. We are not dating! Just friends." I tell the truth blushing.

"My pardon, I thought..."

"Anyone would be lucky to have such a cute girlfriend." Jimin cuts the girl’s apology making me focus on him again. Why is he like that? It’s not normally how he is. No, he’s just being nice again, right, that’s the reason.

"I don't know about that." I shyly comment. Don’t know what else to say.

Only then I can finally breathe when the lady arrives Jimin takes his place further away sitting down on one of the chairs in a row before the wall at the other side, scrolling through his phone since the professional said it will take some time to finish.

”Do you have something in mind?” I think for a while before shaking my head I haven’t thought about that honestly. It was Jimin’s idea in the first place.

”Um, curling it? Cutting the dead ends?” I offer and the lady nods with a friendly smile she starts working soon.

After the hair salon, we went shopping for a dress. He did all the reading while he applied for me and made a list of things we needed to get done before the Pageant. The first was to get my hair fixed the second one is to find a dress for the ending ceremony.

I struggle to bound the backside of the dress but to no avail, I can't reach the zipper on my own.

"Jimin?" I call his name rather uncertainly but it's the better option since I don't want the guy shop assistant with the rude attitude to touch me plus I trust Jimin. It's just a dress he saw me dressed up before so I don't know why I can't calm down the stupid pounding of my heart. It’s probably because of the way he stared at me through the mirror I tell this to myself.  

"Yes princess, do you need help?" Now is not the time to think about inappropriate thoughts it’s Jimin we are talking about. A friend. I clear my throat before speaking hoping that the words will come out steady.

"Actually yes. I can't get this dress up can you come in and help me?"

I hold the front of the dress not to reveal too much skin this dress is so tight that I needed to get rid of my bra since my body won't fit in the front of the dress otherwise, I'm pretty sure the line of my panty shows as well but it felt too much to remove.

"You look beautiful." The praise made my heart melt his eyes shimmered in adoration as he found my gaze through the mirror he maintained eye contact while he reached for the zipper of the dress he touched the upper part of my ass accidentally my cheeks flushed in pink he rested his other hand on my shoulder keeping the dress together. What’s with him and mirrors? He seems to act differently when one’s around.

"Thanks." I whisper bashfully the tiny booth suddenly feels too hot not sure if it's from embarrassment or from something else I cannot put my finger on. He steps back admiring the dress and how I look in it with the help of his hand still resting on my shoulder he turns me to face him he looks up and down memorising my body seeing his gaze I feel exposed even though I know I'm wearing clothes. Partially.

"Hmm. So pretty." He slides his fingers down the length of my arm with gentle motions stopping at my elbow pushing my body flush against him my back collides with the booth's thin wall with a soft thud as I tried to gain back some distance.

The sweet cologne hits my nose with his eyes hooded he looks down mere centimetres away from my lips. He licks his telling me without words that he wants to kiss me looking between my lips and eyes for confirmation but he is soon done waiting.

I was about to protest when he leaned in which results in that our teeth clash but it doesn't deter him from kissing me harder connecting our lips together firmer with the pad of his finger Jimin caresses my jawline guiding my face to follow his lead. I can feel the soft press of his warm tongue asking for permission when the shopping assistant calls for us.

"Everything is alright?" He asks I'm sure he has his own ideas what's happening in here. We pant into each other's mouths we separated as soon as the assistant's voice reached our ears but Jimin didn't step back as I thought he would.

"Yes. The zipper was stuck but it's fine now." Jimin tells the guy and he seems to let that stay at that not intruding further. Jimin's cheek appears to be as pink as mine which makes me a little less nervous.

 "I don't want to do this." I protest what feels like the 100th time this day.

We are currently sitting in the library and looking up topics for me fashin magazines littered in the tiny table and for almost 30 minutes since we got here Jimin's knee painfully touching my thighs under the table but I'm too afraid to voice it out.

Am I a bad person? Moving on this fast and pinning after my best friend like an affection starved bitch. Han was a jerk but Jimin is very nice which makes it ten times worse.

After our shared kiss in the changing booth, Jimin seems too normal. Am I the only one affected by it? I’m at the conclusion that it wasn’t even real and my head just played tricks with me cruelly. What frustrates me more is that I haven’t got a full taste and it’s affecting me nonetheless.

”Hmm.” He hums distracted not paying attention to my whining. He turns a page his face lit up as he positions the magazine to let me see its content. There’s a tall girl in a nice dress and each side there’s an article about manners. I almost roll my eye at that. Manners and I are not very familiar with each other.

”What about it? I thought I just have to say I want world peace and cry a little but you actually think about the topic I have to talk about?”

I remember him saying that in one of the rounds I have to talk about a chosen topic for ten to fifteen minutes. He’s more serious about this than I thought at first. Why do I find his determination cute and hot at the same time? Something is clearly wrong with me.

”World peace? It’s not Miss Congeniality Y/N.” He puts the article down laughing with his head thrown back but soon composes himself when the librarian warns us to be quiet or we have to leave.

”Yes, Jimin be quiet.” I retort however my smile vanishes when he leans closer his hand flat against my thigh.

”Did you say something?” His breath fanning my face he keeps his voice down this time. I don’t dare to look down his hand is awfully close to where I don’t want it to be and especially not in a library.

It’s like a switch is turned off and on in him at the most unexpected moments.

"You're being touchy again. Are you going to glare at every single male until we are done?" The corridor is busy with people and Jimin refuses to leave my side opting for helping me find the sitting room.

I wasn’t feeling nervous when I woke up this morning but getting closer and closer for the competition to end the nerves making my stomach flip in an uncomfortable way was getting stronger with every second.

"I'm just making sure you are safe, sweetheart men are wolves you know." He secures his jumper to cover my front. This bikini wasn't even that revealing for fuck's sake. Although he’s unnecessary protectiveness was enough to channel my focus into something else.

"You are a man." I state the obvious looking deadly into his eyes articulating the word ’man’ for emphasis.

I'm kind of done with his overprotective behaviour. He kissed me and now he thinks he is some kind of older brother for me. I honestly don't know what to think. And the way he teased me in the library. There’s no way he wasn’t aware of his hands on my body.

"But I'm allowed to look at you they're not." The little whiny edge in his voice doesn’t melt me this time he’s being childish. It sits on the tip of my tongue to say what makes you think that you have my permission, but I refrain from doing so.

"Jimin it's like the same when we are at the beach it's just a bikini and they will see it eventually when I go on stage." I decided to use another approach instead.

"I'm suddenly not sure about this. How about we get out of here?" The hand holding the jumper up strengthens on my body.

"Calm down. You made me do this so we're going to do this." I say it like there’s no room for discussion.

Two people were eager to make their existence visible while we were bantering I can’t say I was dying to see Han and his new puppet. Han wasn’t even aware it’s me next to Jimin I guess a little dress change and makeup do wonders.

"What a pleasant surprise to see you here?" I can’t say the same. Despite the thought, I remain silent but thinking again I straighten my back and call her out on her words. She’s a year above us I remember this girl because she’s always noisy in class. She retakes one of our classes that’s why my year knows her in the first place.

"Are you asking or stating it?" I roll my eyes Han's hand curves around the girl's waist holding her close.

Really her? He must be fucking her because there’s no way she can write his essays for him.

"Y/N?" Han's unsure voice makes me satisfied. Call me now ungirly you prick if you dare. But I can’t relish in the feeling because her highness speaks again.

"I meant it's nice that you are here since there will be a winner and we always need a loser." I’m not going to mention how unreal this girl looks. Her hair is blonde but it’s the doll-like artificial kind of blonde. It’s stereotypical but her voice is making me cringe it’s like she swallowed a toy duck the kind which whistles when it’s clenched.

"Hold your fake tits Y/N's going to win." I never heard Jimin using explicit words before I'm shocked beyond belief. Han’s eyes linger on the way Jimin holds me close, it looks like he knows something I don’t.

"5 minutes!" Hearing the yelling of the staff it's our cue to leave.

"What was that?" I'm struggling to hold back my laughter. We finally arrive in front of the door where a huge sign says the sitting room.

"She insulted you. I'm not going to watch this chick looking down on you." It’s just now that he releases his hold letting the jumper fall.

"And I'm thankful. The only validation I need is from you Jimin. Do you really think I look ok?" I’m nervous it’s totally out of my league to be here. The thoughts about those two leaving my brain easily.

"Look ok? You look gorgeous. Keep that in mind that after this day no matter what happens you'll remain the winner in my eyes." He massages my shoulders his fingers dig into my flesh in a calming manner.

"That means you’re going be proud even if I'm last?" He shakes his head in disbelief he has more faith in me than I have in myself.

"Don't say that. Have a little faith in you darling."

I smile as soon as I saw Jimin's figure lingering by the door our eyes met in the reflection of the mirror I put my flowers down on top of the dressing table reaching for him to receive a congratulation hug. I can’t say I'm disappointed that I'm not finished in the first place but I'm kind of happy because I ranked third place which is quite the achievement on my part and it all thanks to Jimin.

Grabbing my hips when he gets close enough he crashes our mouths together in a hot kiss moving his lips skilfully against mine with unconcealed eagerness like he waited years to do that. He steps closer traping my body between his body and the dressing table angling my head to slip his tongue into my mouth. He’s not as gentle as before.

"Jimin." I pant. "But I didn't get first place." I reason but he shuts me up with another kiss on my abused lips he gets my lower lip between his teeth basking in my reactions I let my eyes flutter open seeing his face this close he looks like an angel the only thing giving him away is that his eyes hid not so innocent thoughts.

"I told you. You're a winner in my eyes. Do you want your reward sweetness?" He kisses my earlobe after releasing my lip whispering into it before he moves down to pepper the exposed skin on my neck with wet open-mouthed pecks.

"Jimin, we are in public. Someone might see us." I try not to give in so easily but it was hard controlling my needs since the sexual tension grew tenfold after our little kiss inside the changing booth and the library. Shit, his mouth feels good on my heated skin.

"They're celebrating the winner no one will search for us for a while. How about we hold our little celebration as we wait?" The suggestion makes my eyes roll back into the back of my skull my legs shake in anticipation and he grins seeing my lust-filled expression.

"You're unbelievable. Do you want to fuck me in a dressing room while anyone could see us? Is that a kink of yours?" My head clears a little as he backs away looking at his reflection behind us in the mirror.

"I'm not going to fuck you here baby." His eyes focus on me again caressing the skin on my waist the gesture is lovely but I can't help feeling disappointed hearing his words. Of course, he wouldn't want to fuck me what was I thinking. We are talking about Jimin he could have everyone, of course, it's not me who he wants.

"Oh." I cannot help but let out a disappointed yelp he must sense my anxiety since he continues.

"This is just the foreplay don't be disappointed cheesecake. I'm planning on worshipping your body and we have no time for that here. I'm willing to wait to fuck you till we get home until then I just need a quick taste." He plays with the band of my underwear showing his intentions he undoes just the right side of the bow keeping the material in place revealing a part of my skin there.

"Bold of you to assume I'm going to let you." Hearing my mocking voice he places his palm against my heat making me moan out with how precisely he moves his fingers. It was embarrassingly easy to make me shut up and he loves it.

"Did you say something? I didn't hear you." He never falters his ministrations his index finger slips under the fabric feeling the wetness that gathered there he moans into my ear after he places a quick kiss to the underside of my collarbone.

"I said hurry the fuck up." I take hold of his biceps the slow-motion his one finger provides soon feels not enough to satisfy me.

"Since it's your prize I'm not going to tease you this time." He slowly drops down to his knees seeing him in front of me is enough to moan out and he cannot stop the light chuckle leaving his lips the lips he’s going to wrap around my heat.

"I was waiting to get you out of those the moment I saw you in them." He plays with the other side of the bow which is still in place. Once it’s undone he shoves the material into his pockets. I realise that I don’t know much about him at all in the field of sex. We never talked about it but I knew he’s not a virgin.

"Hmm, that's why you were covering me the whole time? It was not because of the boys, was it? You covered me so I won't give you a boner while we wait for the staff's call." He chooses this exact moment to lick a long drawn out stripe up my folds sucking on my clit in a teasing manner. He hooks a hand under my leg to position it and lift it onto his shoulder for better access. My long-nailed fingers pull on his hair.

"You figured me all out, baby. Now less talking and more moaning." Ending his statement he dives in my legs shake due to the pleasure he sure does know his ways around a women body. I wonder how many partners he had but I need only one finger to slip inside to forget every thought I had. I whine at the stretch not because it’s uncomfortable but because it’s not enough I’m so wet that I could take him right then and there.

”Please, Jimin. Please.” At this point, I’m not even sure what I’m begging for but luckily Jimin knows exactly what I need. The neediness not only evident in my voice and soft mewls but in my body as well in restless shaking it makes Jimin smile against me he caresses the inner side of my thigh his tongue on my clit draws eight shapes his fingers slow but reaching deep it’s obvious he’s trying to extend my sweet torture.

At first, only using one finger then it’s quickly turned into two scissoring it occasionally making me ready for his cock the thought of him being inside of me automatically makes me clench around his fingers. The way he emits little sounds of appreciation while going down on me is a huge turn on. I doubt he feels better than me right now but sure does it seems like he enjoys it a lot more normally guys do.

”J-Jimin.” I stutter his name his tongue and fingers starting to feel too much for me to handle I fidget as much as I can while Jimin’s hands holding me in place I can’t hide away from the feeling and he doesn’t stop.

He speeds up his movements not listening to my silent pleas to stop the way he licks up every drop and welcoming the new waves of wetness makes my head spin. ”I’m going to cum.” I warn him I grab the side of the table I need something to hold on tight to ground myself against the intense feeling of my fast approaching orgasm. ”Ah J-Jimin.” He hums with his mouth wrapped around my sensitive bud I close my eyes so hard that I start to see red dots in my vision. He doesn’t stop even though I reached my high with shaky fingers I can finally pull his head the sight I see when he looks up to take in my fucked out face almost makes me push through another orgasm itself.

Jimin uses the back of his hand to wipe off the leftover wetness gathered around his mouth and chin it was glistening in the sun provided light. As he gets up from the crouching position he slowly lets my leg touch the ground again he starts doing calming smooth circles on my hipbone delivering light kisses on my lip waiting for me to get back to my senses.

He gives me the sweetest smile I have ever seen on him. Almost makes me forget how he was between my legs a few minutes prior.

"B-baby what are you doing?" I could hear the ragged breath he sucked in through his nose it takes time to get on my knees since they’re kinda shaky I grabbed his hipbone to steady myself on the ground looking up at his face with a proud smile.

I caressed the soft flesh under his shirt I could feel the muscles contracting under my light touches. I look in front of me to study the outline of his dick he’s hard and he’s hard because of me.

"It's not fair of me to take and not give back the favour don't you think?" I palm him through the rough material of his jeans he moans significantly loud it earns a huge grin on my part and an embarrassed smile on his. Cute.

"This day is all about you. I'm going to show you how proud I am because of you." Despite his words, his opposition was weak he let me palm him he wasn’t able to keep his eyes open when I applied more pressure. I love the way he’s so responsive to my every touch and the high pitched tone he moans in the back of his throat. The whiny edge of it encourages me to do better because I certainly want to hear more of those.

"By letting me blow you. Pants down." I raise one of my brows waiting for him to remove his pants for me. His eyes reopen when he doesn’t feel my hand on his body he looks down where I’m sitting on my legs knees bent he sucks in a shaky breath, pupils dilated and he finally nods he clears his throat to sound more collected.

"Shit. Fine."

"In any other situation, I would love to hear how vocal you are Jiminie but right now you need to keep quiet for me. Can you do that? Hmm?" I tease him I take a good look at his member his grith is quite impressive he’s thicker than it seemed when it was inside his boxers. Before I could change my mind or make Jimin embarrassed because of my staring I wrapped my fingers around him there are a few inches I cannot reach and It shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does.

"This feels so g-good." I collect the precum to help me move up and down his shaft, after a louder whiny moan on Jimin’s part I decide to hold him firmer he throws his head back both of his hands grabbing the table’s edge he’s holding back not to thrust up into my hand the pulsing vein visible as he bares his neck.

"A-ah please slow down, i-it's too much." Reciprocating the favour I lick at the tip while speeding up my jerking motions the double pleasure forces a loud whimper to escape his parted lips.

A knock interrupted our moment Jimin's body goes rigid afraid that we'll be caught. I withdraw my ministrations letting his shaft leave my mouth with a wet pop. Despite the risky situation, I can see it on him it requires a lot of self-control on his part not to thrust back into my mouth.

"Yes?" I answer going back to deliver a kittenish lick to his tip not letting the newly released precum go to waste Jimin stutters biting his lip hard not to whine out. My voice sounded worn out but the staff member didn’t pay attention to it.

"The closing ceremony will start soon." So she’s here to inform me.

"When?" I ask between licks I found the throbbing vein at the underside of his cock following the line up from the base to tip a low grunt leaves Jimin's lips I automatically gaze at the door but thanks to the noises of the people outside of the door the sound is lost within these four walls.

"15 minutes."

I hum against his dick in acknowledgement the vibration shoots another pleasurable wave up his spine immediately Jimin's fingers strengthen in my hair. "I'll be there." I pull away for a second to offer my answer to the assistant. She leaves after that.

"Let's bet Jiminie. Do you think I can make you cum within 15 minutes?" His eye flutter shut groaning when I apply pressure again using my hand to pump his full length this time it's easier due to the spit from the previous help of my mouth.

I use the heel of my palm to smear down the newly formed precum leaking from his tip he's extremely sensitive to my every touch I continue licking the tip circling my mouth around the head of his cock the pretty high pitched moans getting significantly louder but I let him he's close anyway.

"Y-you don't have to s-swallow it."

"Shit. You swallowed." I liked the way his eyes darkened by the discovery the salty taste won't be my favourite flavour but it was alright also this way it left less of a mess.

I need to be presentable soon. My jaw hurts because of the long use but it worth it seeing Jimin's fucked out state he looks even prettier with a sheen of sweat coating his spotless skin. It makes me proud knowing he’s like this because of me.

"Are you alright?" I comb my fingers through his messed up hair his fringe sticking to his forehead looking me up and down behind his long locks framing his eyesight with bedroom eyes slightly closed still trying to get down from his high.

"More than okay, baby. More than okay."

Circling his hands around my waist he pulls me closer until our bodies fully pressed together he rubs his nose into my pulse point kissing it I feel the faint pressure of his teeth that I grab the back of his head to pull it away. He whines because of the denied access but lets me pull him back.

”I can’t have a hickey Jimin, I don’t want everyone here to know what we did in this dressing room.” I reason but he seemed to like the idea, I hit his chest with a serious expression at that his wide smile starting to piss me off.

”Fine, fine. I’m surprised you still have the energy to be this violent. Jeez, woman.” Jimin wets his lips with his tongue his face shows satisfaction and cockiness. I wonder how many girls were able to see this side of him.

”We have limited time Jimin. I need to get that dress on.” I decide to ignore the smirk and move I don’t have much time before I need to get back out there and this dress is so tight to get on and now I’m sweaty too. ”I need help.”

”I would rather get you out of it though.” I turn my back to him so he can get the zipper up.

”Of course you would.” I roll my eyes following the sarcastic sentence.

[nachtai-ish]

Green (And Red) Lights (Spooky X Prophet!Reader One-Shot)

Pairing: Oscar Diaz x Prophet!Reader Summary: Christmas in Freeridge leads to explanations and realizations. Warnings: ...General Harsh Words, Roughness, Mentions of Unsavory things. Angst. (Author’s Note: This is a continuation of my previous Spooky one shots in which reader is a prophet affiliated woman. This one shot is different because instead of dealing with past Oscar, this is more current. If you would like to put a time stamp on this, this would be the following December (obviously) after Olivia’s Quince. Happy Christmas in July! Oh there was supposed to be some smut...cause these two have been wanted to f*** but all I get out is angst. So look forward to smut in the future for these two. Uh Also, did not proofread. I always spell Ceasar wrong. Uh. yeah.)

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               Freeridge was warm, warmer than you had grown accustomed to back east. When you stepped out of your old childhood bedroom in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt with only a light jacket on your arms, it was a big reminder that you were at home… not that you needed any more reminding.

               As you traveled up the hall, you smiled at the warm sound of Donny Hathaway as it filled you with Christmas cheer. When you reached the living room, you found your mother dancing with Bobby, her boyfriend of over three years now. They laughed and giggled, stepping side to side with each other unaware of you watching them. They were in their own world of bliss.

               When your mother laid eyes on you, she smiled warmly at you, and held out a hand that you took, spinning around with her and Bobby for a moment before breaking the chain and going into the kitchen.

“You going somewhere baby?” She asked as you pulled out two plates that you had packed earlier in the day. You looked at her and she sighed, the joy wiping away from her face.

“No.” She said.

“I’ll be quick. I’m just going to leave it on the doorstep and come back. 10 minutes.”

“No baby.” She walked into the kitchen with you putting her hand on the foiled plate. “It’s not safe.”

“Mom, it’s Freeridge. Nothing is safe.” You smiled. “It’s fine. I’ll be quick.”

She grabbed your shoulders and turned you to her, looking you straight in your eyes. “He put a green light on you.”

You gulped, looking at her for a moment before breaking eye contact with her. You hadn’t forgotten that fateful day that you and Oscar had stopped being you and Oscar. The day where you had made the choice to reject the life you were living now in order to spend the life you wanted with him. It was also the day where he rejected your choice, and told you that if you would not go to school that you wouldn’t be able to show your face around Freeridge. He might not have said the words ‘green light’ specifically but it was clear in the tone of his voice.

“…He didn’t say green light.” Your voice was quieter, broken still even after three years. You fought the tears in your eyes as you looked at her again. “It’s been three years…and this is tradition.”

“Fuck tradition. He broke any and all tradition when he threatened your life.”

You wiped your eyes and broke away from her hold, going to the kitchen to get two glass cokes, the ones with the real sugar that Ceasar liked. “I didn’t say nice things either.”

               And you hadn’t. You had hurled daggers at his back, wishing him death in so many words. You didn’t mean it of course but he had hurt you so bad and fuck, your heart was bleeding.

Still bled.

“He deserved it.” She shifted as you moved to the table where there was plastic silverware waiting for you to grab. “…Listen, I was grateful…I am grateful for him making a hard decision for you…but there’s no way in hell I’ll ever forgive him for putting a target on your back.”

“It was a threat. There’s no way that Oscar would ever let someone hurt me…or hurt me.” You sounded sure even though you weren’t as sure as your voice sounded. “It worked. I’m almost done with my business degree and I’m thankful. He saved me from a childish mistake even if his tactics were cruel.”

Your mom walked over to you again, hugging you from the side, kissing the side of your face. “I know you loved him darling. I know you still love him…but you have to see him for who he is. He’s not the same boy that you spent so much time with all those years ago. He’s damn near the leader of the Santos. And take it from someone who knows a little bit of something about gang members…they don’t go back on their words.” She kissed your temple again and moved away from you, walking back towards the warmness of Christmas soul music and a love all of her own. “I can’t stop you. You’re an adult…but I hope you don’t get hurt. And if you’re gone for longer than 20 minutes without calling me, I’m calling the police.”

               The Diaz house was not like you remembered. Well, you could still recognize it which was why you had made it to the house and was standing on the sidewalk with the two plates like a fool. However, there were a lot of new additions. The house had gone to ruins in the years that you had been gone, there was trash in the yard, places where the grass had died because of something laying there and not moving, and there was a couch right in the center of it all.

This was not the house you were familiar with. Not the house that you made your way to nights that you felt too lonely to sit at home, the house that opened it’s doors and welcomed you to comfort from Oscar and conversations with his brother. This was now the Santos house.

And you were not a Santo.

               You stiffened your back and walked forward before you lost your nerve, stepping over bottles and trash, to get to the front door. You sat the plates on the porch and knocked three times, once for the father, the son, and the holy mother before turning around to walk away back to your car.

You felt him behind you before you could even get off the porch, his hand grabbing your wrist and tugging you backwards. You nearly yelped but he was quicker, covering your mouth. You knocked over the bottles, they made a cracking noise that you barely heard through the closed door.

Oscar was closer than he had been to you in three years, hands on the side of your head pressed against the door, mad face panting over yours. You looked up at him, making out his features in the dark. He had grown harder, meaner in the face over the years but he was still handsome, and that made your already quick pulse beat faster.

“…Are you crazy?” He bit out, voice low in anger. “Sneaking around blocks that you don’t belong on?”

“I didn’t sneak anywhere. I just…” You stopped. “Fuck it. I’ll go home. Let me out. Merry Christmas.”

“It’s 12:20.”

“Well Merry Late Christmas. Let me out now.”

“You can’t leave. Not right now anyway. You were spotted.”

You searched his eyes but found no lie, no exaggeration. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“…You can’t be in Santos territory, Y/n.”

Your head spun, your heart broke, your blood boiled. Oscar really had put a hit out on you. He had really, no he really had rather you been dead than with him. You nearly burst out in tears and would have if your anger had not taken over. “You...put a green light on me?”

Oscar looked down at you, “…I told you I would.”

You slapped him, hard. The noise echoed in the nearly empty home, he moved with the slap, his face staying of to the side as the sting went through him. You breathed hard as you watched him for how he would react. He chuckled a little, rubbing his cheek.

“Damn. That almost hurt.”

You growled a little jumping towards him, only being held back by his two hands holding your arms away from his person. “I can’t believe you, you bastard. What did I do to you? I never did anything to you!” You yelled struggling in his grip, trying to express your anger with more than just words.

“You made a choice…you needed to make another choice. …Maybe it was stupid but it was what I thought of.” He gritted out, pushing against you.

“Get your fucking hands off me.” You snatched away from him breathing hard and pressing yourself against the wall, as far away from him as you could. “You don’t get to touch me anymore.”

Oscar nodded, “Good. I don’t want to.”

“Bastard.” You chuckled. “I can’t believe…” You chuckled again wiping your eyes. “I can’t believe I ever thought you cared about me. You’re just heartless. You’re cold, and mean and you deserve whatever it is you get in life.”

His face changed at that, he turned towards you, “If I was heartless, I would have allowed the green light to still go on…but I ended it. I ended it as soon as you left for school. I never…I would have never allowed someone to hurt you.”

You laughed, “You don’t need someone else to hurt me. You do a good job of it on your own.” You wiped your eyes again. “…And if there is no green light…then why can’t I leave?”

“When we broke up, any protection that you had from the Santos was over. You’re a prophet.” When you opened your mouth to argue, he held up his hand. “Maybe not for real, or in name, but you are in blood and that makes you an enemy. Your mother might have denounced affiliation but your dad never did. He died a prophet.”

You rolled your eyes, “That’s so stupid. I don’t claim the prophets. I barely knew my dad…I don’t even know any prophets other than Monse’s dad and he’s not even in the life anymore. Why does it matter?”

Oscar looked away from you, “It just does. They won’t kill you…but you could get hurt. You could get snatched and they’ll put you on the market, ci- Y/n. And I can’t go against cuchillos’s word.”

You were silent for a moment, understanding but not understanding what he was saying. Gang code meant everything to Oscar and even if it didn’t make exact sense to you, it was his word and his law and there was nothing you could do to break that.

You nodded, wrapping your arms around yourself tighter, “So what? I just…have to watch my back when I’m home? What about my mom? Should she wear a bulletproof vest?”

“Your mom is smart. She doesn’t come down here.”

You chuckled sarcastically, sitting down on the arm of the couch, all of a sudden tired. “And I’m the idiot that tried to bring food to the leader of the gang that hates me.”

Oscar said nothing to that, sitting across from you in an arm chair.

You looked at him, handsome in the greyness of the poorly lit room. He watched you as well, only moving one finger. It tapped the arm of the chair.

“You remember, Brit Lit?”

He snorted and nodded, “I remember Mr. Hartley….he looked like Santa Claus.”

You chuckled a little, “Yeah…remember when we read Romeo and Juliet.”

He was silent for a moment but then nodded, changing his position.

You smiled a little at him, “This feels a lot like that.”

               You sat in silence for a few more moments before remembering that you had left the food on the porch. You stood up stretching a little before walking to the door.

“It’s not safe yet.” He spoke up, looking up from his phone.

“…I just wanted to get the food off the porch, you don’t want dogs all over it.” You opened the door, peaking your head out to look for any one that might be walking by before snatching the plates and the one unbroken soda.

               You walked back over to the couches and sat the food and soda on the table.

“It’s left overs. I…didn’t know what you guys were doing for Christmas so I thought that I could give you guys some Christmas dinner.” A grin started on your face as Oscar leaned forward, lifting up the foil a little to see the contents. “It’s chicken, potato salad, greens, dressing. I even wrapped some Red Velvet cake in plastic wrap and put it on the plate. …I brought two sodas but one broke…your fault.”

He laughed a little and your mood lightened even more. You smiled. “So the one that’s left is for Ceaser. Where is he by the way? …I hope we didn’t disturb his sleep arguing.”

Oscar didn’t look at you but he did stand up walking into the kitchen and going into the fridge. You got a sinking feeling in your stomach.

“Where is Ceaser, Oscar?” When there was more silence, your heart beat doubled. “He’s not…Oscar, where is he?”

The sound of a can popping was your only answer, Oscar walked back into the room sitting on the couch in front of you. He sat the can of beer down, pulling off the foil. He met your eyes, fork hovering over one of the plates. “He’s not dead.”

You sighed, body literally relaxing against the chair. “Good. Where is he though?”

Oscar shrugged, fork full of greens going into his mouth. “This is good.”

“Did you just shrug?”

“I did.”

“…So you don’t know where your brother is right now?”

“…I have a general idea.”

“…a general…idea? What the hell is going on?”

Oscar put the fork down and sat back looking at you, “A lot of shit has gone down since you’ve been gone.”

“…What could have possibly gone down for you to not know where your brother is?”

               You were on your second beer by the time Oscar got finish laying out what had happened during your time away from Freeridge. You had nearly called bullshit on him a couple times, when things started to sound more like a teenage drama show than actual life but by the time he was finish you believed him.

“So…now Ceaser can’t be here anymore?”

Oscar shook his head, not even looking at you. The food on the plate was only partially finished.

“…He can’t be here…in his home? The only home he knows?” You were mad all over again. “That’s so stupid.”

“I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Good cause I don’t!” You slammed the beer on the coffee table. “It’s not Ceaser’s fault he couldn’t kill someone. It’s not his fault at all. He didn’t even want to be in the stupid gang in the first place.”

“Watch your mouth.”

You narrowed your eyes, “Or what? You gonna put another green light on me?”

His grin was full of malice, and his eyes challenged you. “I have before. I can do it again easily.”

“Do it.”

He sat up, “You dare me to?”

“Yeah, I do. Green light me. Matter of fact, tell your boys I’m walking out of your house right now. Tell them to come and get me. Anything would be better than sitting here with a cold heartless monster.” You stood up and walked to the door.

“Y/n.”

You ignored him, grabbing your jacket and putting it on. Before you could open the door his hand was against it. He placed his forehead on the back of your neck, you could feel the inhales and the exhales tickling the small hairs that were there.

“Y/n.” Your name was a plea on his lips, quiet, barely there but you could hear it. You could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

“You need to fix things with Ceaser. You have to. He can’t survive on his own.” You leaned back against him slightly.

“…I can’t go against Cuchillos.”

“….So what? You’re gonna let your brother die for the gang?” You turned and looked at him. “Why does it matter so much to you? Why can’t you just let the life go?”

“Because the Santos are the only family I have!” He shouted at you. “You don’t get it. You have a mom, you have a grandma, you have friends, and connections. I have nothing. Nothing but this life and the gang. The Santos took care of us, has always took care of us, and things aren’t perfect, they never were perfect but I’m in a position where I can take care of mine and everyone around me and I can’t mess that up. People are counting on me.”

“What about your brother?”

“…I’m trying.” He ran his hand over his bald head. “I’m trying to figure out ways to get him back in, but…he made the gang look weak.”

“He doesn’t need to be back in. He needs to be free. You too.”

“There is no freedom, cielo. There is either the Santos….or death. That’s always the way it’s been.”

“…It doesn’t have to be like this. You can-“

He slammed his hand against the door, “Stop. Stop! This isn’t a fairytale. This is real life. This is my life and you can’t save me. You can’t bring a Christmas dinner by and save me with your mom’s chicken and harsh words. You think I don’t know that my brother living out on the streets is fucked up? You think I don’t know that the longer we’re in the gang the more likely that one or both of us will die. You think I don’t see the spark of life draining out of my brother’s eyes every time he looks at me? Every time another fool darkens our doorway with a bullet wound this-“ He made the gesture with his fingers. “Close to an artery? I’m not stupid.”

“I didn’t call you stupid. …there are just other options. Monse’s dad- “

He laughed and moved away from you, allowing you the freedom to move off the door again. “Maybe the Prophets forgive and forget. But us Santos, we remember.” He sat down. “You know how you said that our situation reminded you of Romeo and Juliet.”

You nodded. You felt chastised. You felt cold but most of all you felt aware of your ignorance and the fact that you were far removed from the life that Oscar lived.

His smirk was sarcastic, full of misery and the actuality of his fate, “I won’t choose death like Romeo did. Death will come for me whether I like it or not. Don’t be an idiot and stab yourself. Don’t be like Juliet.”

[repulsivepangolin7]

Fic: 31 days of whump (2/31)

A/N: Oh, what the heck, I might as well rapid-fire the first two or three.

Word count: 3 764

He knew a good portion of his character flaws. One was dyslexia, although he didn’t really consider it a flaw anymore. Another was what someone, sometime, had argued had to be ADHD, or at least ADD. He didn’t really care about that, he knew his attention span wasn’t the world greatest, but it was alright.

Some would call it a character flaw to be as tied up to his job as he was.

And there was a bunch more.

Eating like a medium sized industrial vacuum cleaner…

Maybe a bit more quick-tempered than one should be…

Right then and there, chasing a suspect, only one of those flaws he could come up with from the top of his head came back to bite him in the ass. -Or rather, the ankle.

He heard tires squeal against the hot asphalt. And quick reflexes was the only thing that saved him from being hit head on by the Mercedes-Benz star, but it wasn’t quite enough for him to avoid being hit by the car all together.

The first couple of seconds after he landed, he was in a sort of numb state where pain didn’t register yet. It was almost like a land of denial, as long as it didn’t hurt yet it couldn’t be that bad.

At the same time, he wasn’t sure if he could force himself to look towards his ankles.

The car that hit him didn’t stop, the next car didn’t either. But then again, it wasn’t even sure that the second car had seen what happened.

And then his right ankle started letting him know something was seriously wrong.

Tan came running up to him, and Luca managed to convince him to bolt after the suspect.

Next came Hondo.

SWATSWATSWAT

“Are you hurt?” Hondo asked as he kneeled down next to Luca, who was in the process of propping himself up on one elbow.

Luca blinked a few times and chanced a glance towards his legs.

“Luca, are you hurt?”

“My leg’s broken.” Luca answered with a 1000 yard stare.

“You think your leg is broken?” Hondo asked, “Which one?”

“No. My leg IS broken.” Luca swallowed.

Hondo frowned, “Which one?”

“Right one.”

“Lower leg? Upper leg?”

Luca swallowed hard, “My ankle’s toast. My lower leg in general feels wrong.”

Then random cars which had been further away, and had a better view of the whole accident started slowing down and stopping.

Hondo called in the accident, and Luca’s suspected injury. Agreeing that they needed an ambulance to come pick him up.

“Hey, I barely saw what happened…” A guy who had parked his truck came up to them, “Are you alright?”

“He likely broke his right leg.” Hondo answered for Luca, “Dispatch said the ambulance was ten minutes out.”

The guy nodded, “Anything I can do?”

Luca shook his head.

“No, nothing I can think of…” Hondo shrugged.

“We’re good here.” Luca ground out, “You can move on, no need in being parked on the side of the road and making LA traffic worse.”

The guy chuckled a bit, “Okay, alright. I wish you a speedy recovery.”

“Thanks.” Luca nodded, he was uncharacteristically pale by now.

The guy left.

Hondo looked back down at Luca, “How are you feeling?”

The blond shook his head.

“Still not a mind reader…” Hondo reminded him.

“My leg’s pounding.” Luca grimaced, “And I feel like I’m either going to pass out, or puke.”

“Well, please don’t do either…” Hondo smirked, hoping that he’d pull a short laugh from Luca. A short laugh from Luca would make it feel like everything was going to be alright.

“Man, it hurts.” Luca admitted through gritted teeth.

“I know…” Hondo nodded and placed a comforting hand on Luca’s shoulder, “Do you want me to start untying your boot? So that we can take a look at your ankle?”

Luca shook his head, “Nah. I think the ambulance people has more experience in that. Let them do it.”

Hondo nodded, “Okay, that’s alright.”

SWATSWATSWAT

After work they all went to visit Luca at the hospital.

He was basically just laying, waiting for swelling of his ankle and leg to go down enough for the surgeons to piece it back together.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Deacon asked as soon as he had stepped into the room.

“Been better.” Luca admitted, “But they give me enough painkillers to make laying here semi-comfortable…”

Deacon offered up a brief smile.

“So, what’s the damage report?” Street bumped in, nodding towards Luca’s leg, which was covered in a temporary cast and rested on a mountain of pillows.

“Definitely broke it.” Luca shook his head, “Don’t really remember the fancy explanation for it, but I broke my leg six inches above the ankle, straight across both the bones… And my ankle is in multiple pieces. No better way to put it.”

Street nodded slowly as he tried to imagine the fractures in his mind. “So you’ll be laid up for a while?”

Luca shrugged, “I don’t really know what’s going to happen. Except that I need surgery to give all that a chance to heal…”

“That sucks, man…”

Luca bobbed his head in a nod, “Sure does.”

“On the plus side, Tuana might come visit you…” Street teased.

“Tuana?” Tan asked, as Luca blushed bright red.

“Kelly’s mom…” Street answered with a shit eating grin.

“What?” Deacon’s eyebrows shot up, “Are you dating her?”

“No…” Luca shook his head, “N-”

“Not officially.” Street chuckled, “I’m really tired of the way the two of you are doing your best futile attempt at keeping it hidden.”

Luca shook his head, “Well, it’s not, -official-, yet.”

“Well, maybe you two can finally get a move on, now that you’re off duty.” Street shrugged, causing most of the other S.W.A.T members to laugh.

“Dude, stop it.”

“Never.” Street answered smugly, “Not unless you come over here and stop me.”

“You’re punching a man while he’s laying down.” Luca said as he gestured to his cast clad leg.

“Only unfair fight is the one you lose…” Tan chuckled, “Isn’t that what you said to the recruits last year?”

“Yeah. I also told them to not kill each other, because they weren’t in the streets.” Luca pointed out.

Right then there was a knock at the door, before it opened up and Kelly and her mother entered.

“Hey team!” Kelly beamed, she saw most of the team first, before she came far enough inside the room to see Luca, “Hey Luca. Mom said you got hurt.”

Her eyes went wide when she saw the cast on his leg.

“I did…” Luca nodded, “But I’m going to be alright. It’s just going to take some time.”

“Wow, hey…” Tuana nodded at the guys and Chris, “I should have known all of you’d be here…”

Hondo smirked, “Actually, we were just about to leave… But our boy here could use the company…”

Tuana blushed a bit, but recovered quickly. Then she looked over at Luca, “Hey there… How are you doing?”

Luca shrugged a little, “Gonna be a rough couple of months… But I’ll be okay.”

“You didn’t really answer my question, now did you?”

Luca chuckled, “Well, no. My leg hurts, and I have to have it elevated and completely still…”

Tuana smirked a little, “Can you actually lay, or sit, still?”

The whole team chuckled.

“She really called you out there…” Chris grinned.

“Well, my girl texted me that she would have dinner ready when I came home. So I gotta leave now.” Hondo said, looking at the other team members in a hope that they would take the hint.

“Yeah, and we have that thing at… At…” Chris rolled her hand in the air, like she was searching for the correct word.

“Oh, yeah…” Street nodded when he caught on, “Yeah, you, me and Tan are meeting Derek and his girl…”

“Exactly.” Chris nodded.

Deacon smirked, “Well, I’ve got about an hour before I have to pick up the two youngest from kindergarten… That gives me a chance to grab a coffee and sit down in peace and quiet for a spell.”

The team members who weren’t confined to a hospital bed up and left, switching between goodbye hugs and fist-bumps on their way out the door.

SWATSWATSWAT

“Well, the team acted weird…?” Tuana shrugged after the team left.

Luca chuckled, “Yeah, you should’ve heard them before you guys came.”

“Oh yeah?”

Luca nodded, then he tried to shift a little in his bed, ending up with grimacing and groaning, fighting not to let out every four letter word he could think of.

After half a minute he pulled the pillow from below his head and placed it over his own face, finally allowing himself to whisper a silent ‘fuck’ into it, before removing it and placing it back under his head.

“-Are you alright?” Tuana asked, “Do you need anything?”

Luca shook his head, letting his right hand dart up to wipe away the remnants of smeared tears.

“I’m alright.” he choked out, “I just need my leg to stop aching so much.”

“You’re acting weird…” Kelly said with worry in her eyes.

“I’m sorry Kelly-girl…” Luca sighed, “It’s just that my leg hurts really bad. And I don’t want to… I don’t want to say bad words in front of you…”

“Like, Hell? Or, Damn?” Kelly asked, “Some kids at my old school cussed really much. Some kids at my new school says some bad words every now and then… It’s not like I haven’t heard it before?”

Luca chuckled, “Well, I’m trying to be a good role model here…”

Kelly chuckled, “Alright. Okay.”

Tuana chuckled, then she looked at Kelly, “Kelly, maybe you could go down to the lobby and buy yourself some snacks? Since we didn’t go home to eat before we got here…”

Kelly’s face lit up at that, as Tuana pulled out a few dollars to give to her. “And bring me back a coke.”

Kelly nodded before she headed out the door.

SWATSWATSWAT

“So, how are you really doing?” Tuana asked after the door closed.

“I’m a little freaked out…” Luca admitted, “But I know that’s mostly just because this hurts like a motherfucker right now.”

Tuana nodded.

“Wanna hear something funny?”

“What?”

“Street kinda mentioned that we had been seeing each other a bit more recently…” Luca admitted, “To the rest of the team… That’s why they acted weird…”

She smirked, “I kinda guessed it had to be something along those lines…”

“Yeah…” Luca nodded, “He’s getting impatient…”

“Well, he’s not completely alone…” Tuana winked, then stood up and stepped over to Luca’s bed, placing a hand on top of his.

“Maybe we should… Y’know…” Luca’s tongue darted out to wet his lower lip, “Maybe we should…”

“Make it official?”

Luca nodded.

“Maybe we should…” Tuana smirked and leaned down to place a kiss on Luca’s lips.

Luca met the kiss eagerly, running a hand through her dark hair.

“You had me worried.” She said as she pulled away a little, “I heard it on the news before I got your call.”

“I’m sorry…” Luca said, rubbing a calloused hand against her upper arm, “Someone left my phone on the other side of the room, with my clothes… And I didn’t exactly know where it was…”

“Not like that…” Tuana shook her head, “You were in great pain, of course your first thought wasn’t to call your secret girlfriend. And besides, I bet the doctors and nurses kept you occupied for a while…”

Luca nodded at that.

“I meant, I know I don’t want to lose you…” she admitted, “Actually, I’ve known that ever since you helped Kelly get into her new school…”

Luca’s lips curved at one side.

“But, I also want to be able to be proud of you in public.” She winked, “Not… Not real public, but… Amongst our friends…”

“Darling, it would make me so incredibly happy to just… -To just tell my friends that I’m with this amazing woman and mother…” Luca gave her arm a squeeze, “And to be Kelly’s… Kelly’s… Step-dad?”

Tuana chuckled, then nodded.

“About that…” Luca looked down at his lap for a bit, “I never asked, ‘cause it wasn’t my place earlier…”

She nodded slowly.

“But…” he looked back up, “Is Kelly’s dad still in the picture?”

She shook her head, “No, he’s dead.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“Relax.” Tuana rolled her eyes, “He’s never been in the picture… He left as soon as he heard I was knocked up. He died before Kelly was born.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Must’ve been rough on you…”

“It has made me cautious with men…” she chuckled, “You must’ve noticed.”

Luca couldn’t help but chuckle a bit, “And here I thought I was the one playing it safe…”

“We need to talk about your definition of ‘playing it safe’…” Tuana chuckled and jerked her head in the direction of his busted leg, “You’re more of a crash-test-dummy…”

Luca blushed a bit, “I deserved that one…”

She let her hand come down at his hairline, and brushed his hair back a few times before she leaned down to kiss him once again.

They got lost in it.

Lost in it, and they didn’t even notice Kelly opening the door and returning to the room.

Not before she let her presence be known with an audible squeal.

Luca and Tuana both froze, then Tuana stood back up.

“So you two ARE together!” Kelly grinned, “I knew it!”

Luca and Tuana both still had the deer in headlights look for a few seconds more before they simultaneously broke out laughing.

“How long have you been together?” Kelly wanted to know.

Luca shrugged, “A while.”

“Since my birthday…” Tuana clarified.

“That’s…” Kelly started counting on her fingers, “That’s four months!”

Tuana nodded.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“-We wanted to know that it would work out between us first…” Tuana answered, “We were planning on telling you soon.”

Luca nodded, “I hope you’re not angry…”

“Why would I be angry?” Kelly frowned at the thought, “I’ve been wishing for this for almost a year!”

Tuana and Luca both visibly relaxed a bit more at that.

“Does the team know?”

“Not really…” Luca answered, “Street might have started to spread rumors, but they haven’t been confirmed yet. I was planning on telling them after we had told you.”

Kelly grinned.

“Well, now you know…” Tuana chuckled.

Kelly nodded. “So, are you going to move in together?”

The two grownups looked at each other for a moment, neither really knowing the answer.

“That’s something we haven’t talked about yet…” Luca said, scratching the side of his head.

Tuana nodded towards Luca, “Yeah, we should probably talk about that soon…”

“-Amongst other things…” Luca nodded back.

“Am I going to have siblings?”

Both Luca and Tuana froze once again.

“That’s also something we haven’t talked about yet…” Tuana answered.

Luca nodded.

“But is there a chance of it?” Kelly asked. Hope was audible in her voice.

Luca shrugged, “We haven’t talked about it yet. So we don’t know what to answer…”

“Can you talk to each other about that a little quick?” Kellie prompted in a voice only a girl in her pre-teens could manage, before realizing how she sounded and added “Please?”

“I think that’s something we have to talk about alone…” Luca thought out loud, and gave Tuana a questioning look.

Tuana nodded.

“If I went outside, could you talk about it now?” Kelly asked, still very excited about the idea.

The two grownups looked at each other, scanning each other’s expressions for what the other one thought.

Half a minute later Tuana nodded, “Sure.”

Kelly grinned, “I have my phone on me. Call me when you have an answer!”

Tuana nodded, and Kelly headed out the door again.

SWATSWATSWAT

“So…” Tuana started, pulling a chair over next to Luca’s bed, “Guess we have to talk…”

Luca nodded, “Yeah…”

“Do you want kids?” Tuana asked, tilting her head.

Luca trapped his lower lip in thought for a moment, then he looked over at Tuana. “Well, yeah… But as long as I get to be a father figure for Kelly, that’s enough. I mean, if you don’t want more kids…”

Tuana’s face softened, “But if I’m up for more kids?”

“Then yes. Definitely yes.” He winked.

“How many kids would you like?” Tuana followed up.

“I don’t know, never really thought about that…” Luca rubbed his neck, “Always figured I’d have to start with one anyway…”

Tuana laughed, “Think about it… Do you have a maximum limit?”

Luca thought, then chuckled, “Well, I guess it’s probably an idea to slow down if we’d have to drive two cars to go anywhere as a family.”

Tuana chuckled as well, “You’re probably right about that.”

“That being said, I can’t really come up with a number right now.” Luca shrugged, “What’s your number”`

“Well, growing up I always wanted a big family.” She answered, “But I guess two to four kids would do…”

“So, four’s your max?”

“I wouldn’t say that…” Tuana shrugged, “I guess my actual max is when I start feeling that I’m losing more grip than is okay.”

He chuckled, “That’s a nice max limit. Mind if I adopt it?”

She chuckled, “No, go ahead.”

“Then that’s my max as well, whether that means two or ten…”

“So, at least one sibling then.”

“As sure as we’re able to, yeah.” Luca nodded, “I mean, you’re obviously able to… You’ve got a real life proof of that walking around… I can’t exactly point to a definitive proof like that.”

Tuana shrugged, “Just because I have one kid, doesn’t mean it’s going to be just as easy to have a second one. Not this many years later at least.”

Luca nodded, “Well, at least we can have some fun trying.”

Tuana chuckled, “Yeah, after your leg is better.”

He nodded, “Yeah, there’s not going to be any ‘trying’ for AT LEAST a month. Maybe longer.”

She nodded, “I think you’re right about that…”

He nodded.

They both fell silent for a little while, then Luca cleared his voice, “About that other question…”

“What other question?”

“If we were going to move in together…”

Tuana nodded.

“What are we going to answer to that?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know…”

“I mean, there’s three possibilities I see.” He shrugged, and started counting them off on his fingers, “First one, I move in with you guys. Second, you guys move in with me… We might have to figure out something to do about Street then… Or the third option, we continue living in separate houses, but I sleep over at your place every now and then, and vice versa…”

Tuana nodded, “All three are valid options.”

Luca nodded.

“Just because we chose one for now, doesn’t mean that it has to stay that way…” she mentioned.

“That’s true.” he nodded.

“How about we go for option number three for now, and then we just roll with it? See what happens?”

Luca nodded.

“But of course, if you want option one or two…” she shrugged, “I mean, we could keep the other house and rent it out…”

Luca shrugged, “Whatever is fine by me. Sticking to status quo and just seeing where that leads us sounds good.”

She nodded, adding a reassuring smile.

He smiled.

“But maybe you’d like to stay with us for a little while now?” she asked, “I mean, Kelly and I are probably at home more often than Street, right?”

He nodded, then tried to shift ever so slightly. His right hand darted down towards his leg, and it took everything he had to not start sobbing. “Dammit.”

“Do you want me to go ask the doctor if you can get anything stronger?”

He shook his head, wiping at his eyes as salty tears rolled from them.

“Luca, you’re in pain…”

Once he was able to speak again, he looked at her, “Well, I can’t really have opioids.”

She tilted her head, “Have you had a problem in the past?”

He shook his head, knowing what she was thinking. “Not like that… I just have a really low tolerance for that stuff, it often makes me sick… And I don’t want to add ‘nausea’ or ‘throwing up’ to my list of troubles right now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry… I thought… That was dumb of me…”

“Don’t think about it… It was a bad choice of words on my part.” he chuckled.

“So, do you want to stay with us for a while when you’re discharged from this place?”

He nodded, “Could I borrow the guestroom? I’m pretty sure it’ll probably hurt too much to accidentally get bumped into… -And you move around a lot when you sleep…”

“Of course…” she nodded, then she glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall, “Maybe we should call Kelly now?”

He nodded, “We probably should, but I’d like to sneak a kiss from you first…”

She smiled, stood up and stepped over to make that happen.

SWATSWATSWAT

“Now? What did you decide?” Kelly asked, almost bouncing where she stood.

“What do you want to know the answer to first?” Tuana asked.

“Everything.” Kelly grinned, “But I guess it makes sense to start with if we’re all going to live together first.”

“We decided that we don’t know the final answer yet.” Luca shrugged, “But I’m going to stay with you guys for a while now that my leg is injured.”

Tuana nodded, “After that we’ll have to wait and see. We might decide to live like Theo’s parents. They don’t live together all of the time, but it seems like all three of them like the arrangement.”

Kelly nodded, “Theo’s parents fight less than most of the other parents, so that’s cool!”

Luca really liked Kelly’s way of reasoning.

“And babies?” she then quickly switched over to the next question on her list, “Am I going to be a big sister?”

Luca and Tuana laughed.

“Well…” Tuana started, “If everything works out well, then you are going to be one.”

Kelly’s grin grew wide, “Really?”

“Yeah.” Tuana nodded, “But we can’t make any promises before you actually have a brother or sister, you know that? Sometimes it can be really hard to get pregnant.”

Kelly nodded, her head going up and down at a comical speed. “But you want kids together?”

They both nodded.

“But if it doesn’t work out for us, you are enough.” Luca pointed out, “Remember that.”

Kelly smiled, “Thanks.”

[howtotrainyouragents]

Agent H’s Musical Reactions

[eldritchsurveys]

740.

How many walls are in your bedroom? >> Six, because the closet juts out from one of the corners. What do you think about Fall Out Boy? >> I enjoy their music quite a bit, especially Save Rock and Roll and Mania. Do you know where Guatemala is? >> Generally, yes. Specifically, nope. Do you find musicians attractive? >> I think being skilled in an art form -- but especially music -- is attractive, but not, like, “I want to sleep with you”-attractive, which is what I think people mean by this question. Just... I like art, I especially like music, by extension I’m interested by people who make art and especially music. Do you like hard boiled eggs? >> Yeah.

Do you know anyone named Hector? >> I used to, but we didn’t really call him that, we called him Luis. Would you move to another country for the one you love? >> I’ve moved across country for someone, but emigration is a lot harder than that, so I don’t know. I think what’s more important is whether I could even emigrate in the first place, seeing as the process is difficult even for people with money and marketable skills... Do you own an instrument? >> No. What do you usually have for lunch? >> I don’t usually eat a lunch, per se. I kind of graze for most of the day. The most organised thing I might make is a sandwich or some microwave thing. Ever had a pregnancy scare? >> Yes. What do you think about the Purple People Eater? >> I don’t really know what it is, if I’m honest. I’ve heard the song and I’ve heard references to it, but that’s it. Are you pale or tan? >> Dark-skinned. I’ve seen complaints about the America-centric lines of questioning in surveys, but can we talk about the whiteness lmao... What’s the weather like right now? >> Cloudy and chilly. I don’t know where Lady Spring is, but someone please tell her that I am dying. Do you like cats? >> Not especially. I can live with one if I must, obviously, since I do; but I’m not really interested in his existence or anything. I’m kind of turned off by people going apeshit about cats all the time, if I’m honest, but it’s hard to be honest about that without people taking offense. It’s not you, it’s me, etc etc. (It’s probably because I’m a spider and everyone hates spiders.) What’s the best part about Wal*Mart? >> I don’t know, I’m not terribly fond of Wal*Mart myself. Do you think Akon is amazing or annoying? >> I haven’t heard his name in years, lmao. Also, I have no opinion. Do you like the buzz cigarettes give you? >> Yeah, which is the reason I pick up a clove every now and then. Sometimes I just want to get into that headspace. Are you a practical joker? >> No. Do you like pop? >> Not the Pepsi and Coke kinds. I like “weird” sodas, I guess. And ginger beer, which is sort of like a soda. What are you looking forward to? >> Hmm. Oh, Sparrow is going back to work on Monday, apparently! Out of context it sounds like I hate her or something, probably, but it’s not that at all. She’s the only person I can bear being quarantined with. But like, I just like being in the apartment alone for a while. I feel... constricted when someone else is around all the time, and while that’s lessened with her it isn’t nonexistent lmao. I just need time where I’m left to my own devices without being observed by other people, any other people, it’s a weird need but it’s mine and I’ll be glad to have that need met again. Have you ever laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? >> Yeah. What’s your favorite band? >> The Receiving End of Sirens is one. Do you feel stupid when you spill things on yourself? >> Yeah. Are you excited for summer? >> I would be, under normal circumstances! Now I just dread having to be stuck inside for the whole thing. I’m going to try walking trails and stuff, just to... be the fuck outside, but still. Have you ever snuck out? >> No. When’s the last time you were kissed? >> Oh, I don’t know. Would you ever eat popcorn & salsa? >> No, thanks. Do you sleep with the television on? >> Nope. I require silence. The only exception is, say, I’m in a motel room and other guests are being rowdy. Then I’ll put on something to, like, have a controlled and constant sound going as a counter to their chaos. Would you ever want to be able to be invisible? >> I mean, sure, there are situations where I could see that being advantageous. What does your favorite shirt look like? >> I don’t have one. What’s your favorite scent? >> ^ Skype, Msn, Aim, or Yahoo? >> Discord. What’s your favorite time of the day? >> I like dawn. I also like dusk, but only in the summer. Summer dusk is a beautiful thing. Do you hate the phrase “love ya” when coming from a boyfriend/girlfriend? >> No...? What do you do when someone in the room has b.o.? >> Distance myself as much as possible, as discreetly as possible. I don’t want to embarrass them, I just don’t want to deal with sensory overload. What movie would you like to see right now? >> Oh, stuff. How many times a day do you shower? >> It depends on the day. Some days, zero. Some days, once. What do you think of the name Chloe? >> It’s all right. I wouldn’t give it to a character, but it’s all right. Do you like Hollister? >> I’ve never even been inside one. (I’m pretty sure that’s one of the stores that they spray fragrance throughout, like Abercrombie, so that’s all the reason I need to never go inside.) What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? >> Absinthe. Do you like 80’s music? >> Sure, some of the music I like was made in the eighties. Do you have to wear glasses or have contacts? >> No. Do you play Halo or Gears of War? >> I played Gears with a friend years ago. I don’t play it now, though. That kind of game is pretty much only enjoyable for me with a friend, so. How do you feel about cleaning? >> I hate it, but I love the results. What do you think of emo kids? >> I appreciate them. Do you like the movie Grease? >> I haven’t seen it since I was a teenager, probably, so I don’t really remember it. I just have a vague recollection of a couple of the songs, and I remember what the main characters looked like. I’d probably like it if I watched it again; my thing for greasers is still alive and kickin, after all. Do you like singing? >> Sure do.

What’s your favorite Jim Carrey movie? >> The Number 23! I love that movie so much. Now I want to rewatch it.... I’m going to rewatch it. I’m going to spend four dollars to rent it on YouTube as soon as I’m finished with this smh, I can’t resist. It just hits me right where I live,  something about it is so intensely relatable for me, I don’t know. Probably because I’m haunted by a number, too. Runner-up for fave Carrey flick is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. There’s a knock at your door at 4 in the morning; what do you do? >> Nothing. Whoever it is, we have no business with them. Do you like peaches? >> Sure. Ever lost a best friend? >> No.

Ever heard of a town called Wadena? >> No. Have you ever been to a funeral? >> Yes. What’s your favorite sport? >> Figure skating. What do you think about homeschooling? >> I’m interested in it, and the ways in which it can be implemented. I’m also pretty against a lot of things about public schooling in America, so, you know. What do you think about French people? >> I don’t have any opinions about French people. Do you like your parents? >> They don’t like me, which I think settles the issue right there. What do you think about Minnesota? >> I don’t have any thoughts about Minnesota. Do/did you like high school? >> I did not. Do you have any Asian friends? >> I’m acquainted with a few Asian people. Is it cold where you live? >> Yes, still. I fucking hate it. Do you find accents attractive? >> I mean, not as a rule. I find the mechanics of language interesting, so that attracts me, I guess. Do you hate it when people make spelling mistakes? >> No. Would you ever let your boyfriend/girlfriend do your makeup? >> Sure. She knows more about it than I do. Do you like to shop? >> No. How long are you on the computer during a 24 hour period? >> For just about the entire time I’m awake, nowadays. When I’m not in quarantine, then it depends on what else is happening that day. Is money really that important? >> I mean, sure it’s important. I can’t believe that would ever be in question. Wars are fought over it, people suffer and die because they don’t have enough of it, and people lose their whole sense of compassion and empathy when they have too much of it. It’s important, all right. Have you ever broken a bone? >> Nope. Who is your favorite family member? >> --- What size bed do you have? >> Twin, because it’s the only size that would fit in this room without making it utterly claustrophobic. I bark my elbow on the wall and accidentally knock shit off my nightstand all the time, but at least it’s a real bed that belongs to me, for once. What age do you want to be married? >> Well, I was 32, so.

What’s the last thing your wrote? >> Like, longhand? I have no idea. What do you think of your town? >> I don’t care for it. When’s the last time you played hide & go seek? >> Thanksgiving or some holiday like that. I played with Edward, who is a toddler. I always play with him when we see his parents on holidays, even when it makes me tired (where do kids get all that energy???), because I like him.

[deli-counter]

@666lucifersbitch asked me to do all the musical theatre questions so here we are lads!

13: Most embarrassing story from your early teens. One time my mic was on backstage and I didn’t know and I said “fuck I gotta shit so bad” and like 900 people heard that 

1776: Favorite Founding Father? they all didn’t wash their dicks idc 

25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee: Biggest middle school achievement having to leave my middle school because of bullying and then a rumor started that I got knocked up. That was honestly legendary 

A Chorus Line: Favorite type of dance I want 1920s jitterbug swing shit!!

Aladdin: 3 wishes you want to come true 1. get into a good fucking transfer program 2. fall in love 3. love my body 

Amelie: Strangest dream you’ve ever had i hate this cause every dream story someone shares just sounds made up and stupid. I had a dream once that I had to milk myself to stay alive, figure out what that says about my subconscious 

Anastasia: Would you rather be rich in money or in love? Love baby!! I wanna drown in it daily!

Annie: Favorite thing about NYC? General energy of the city is delightful

Avenue Q: The Muppet’s or Sesame Street? Tbh I really haven’t watched either but I guess Muppets

Bandstand: How much hometown pride do you have Ehhh. I like where I live and it’s a nice area but I wouldn’t die for it by any means. I really adore Atlanta and have a lot of pride for it but I’m not really from Atlanta, I’m like 18 miles away 

Be More Chill: One thing you wish to change about yourself I just don’t wanna have trauma anymore y’all. Also I wish I could dance 

Beauty and the Beast: Small town or big city? Both for different reasons but probably moreso big city

Bonnie and Clyde: Favorite dynamic duo idk....Rosencrantz & Guildenstern 

Book of Mormon: One book I love so much that I’d go on a worldwide adventure to tell everyone about. The Curiosities which is actually a collection of short stories but it changed my life 

Bring it On: Something you’re overly competitive about Probably cooking and baking

Carrie: Favorite prank Asian Jim on The Office was classic

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Favorite candy Those raspberry gummies with the nonpareils on them ugh!! Love

Cinderella: shoe size 6.5 / 7

Come from Away: One place you’d like to travel Japan or South Korea 

Dear Evan Hansen: favorite social media platform Twitter or tumblr I guess

Dogfight: Describe your first school dance I went to prom with my senior boyfriend at the time my sophomore year and it was so bad and we ate at this awful restaurant and I felt fat the whole night and he kept trying to grind on me so we left early cause I yelled at him in front of everyone and then his mom showed up drunk and yelled at me and then I went home 

Falsettos: favorite baseball team Whatever teams are playing in the “What a Game!” Ragtime number

Fiddler on the Roof: How many siblings do you have One older sister named Bailey she is my best friend in the entire world and so beautiful and intelligent and funny and I really owe her my life!

Footloose: Could you survive a world without dance I would prefer it as I have never met a worse dancer than me truly

Frozen: One super power you wish you had Telekinesis/whatever Scarlet Witch’s powers are. Or shapeshifting would be good too

Grease: Summer lovers or high school sweethearts Idk I didn’t have either lol

Groundhog Day: One day you wish you could live in forever Day I saw OBC of Great Comet 

Hairspray: Describe your-go to hairstyle Straight and boring maybe pinned back a bit? Idk I don’t know how to do much w my hair

Hamilton: Which Schuyler sister do you relate to the most Uhh probably Angelica cause I’m outspoken to compensate for my worries and fears and grieve what I never had

Heathers: Favorite Slurpee flavor White cherry or coke, specifcally from the Target snack bar

In the Heights: What’s your heritage? Normal White European Mutt, Irish, Swiss, French, but mostly German. Also a lot of Pennsylvania Dutch/Mennonite stuff

In Transit: Favorite Subway/street performer/performance This one guy in the London tube has a drum kit and he dresses up in a suit with puppets and plays the beats that come as a demo on the drum kit and makes the puppets dance. So dumb but he is a sweet guy and I love his dancin dudes!!

Into the Woods: Least favorite camping experience Only went camping like once or twice and it was with my girl scout troop and I just remember having an anxiety attack and not knowing what it was cause I was so young and feeling miserable 

Legally Blonde: What’s your stereotype For theatre I’m typically always cast as the brunette belting bitch or unfit ingenue(that no one fully believes cause I’m not skinny) or whatever, in real life probably just a generic ~artsy girl with red lipstick who thinks she’s unique~

The Lion King: Favorite animal I really do love koalas

Mary Poppins: Have you ever flown a kite Once in a production of Mary Poppins actually lol 

Matilda: favorite teacher Jeff Gillis, my freshman year English teacher. Changed how I looked at education and now we are very good friends and hang out/go out to eat and stuff 

Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812: Best party you’ve ever been to I don’t really go to parties ever? My friend’s birthday party was 1960′s themed and he rented furniture and a tikki bar and there was a strict dress code and all the food was themed and it was very on brand and very much my style 

Newsies: Have you ever been in the local paper. If so, why Yeah for scholarships or singing or something

Pippin: Have you ever been to the circus No I don’t think so? Huh

Rent: Favorite thing about life How fucking cool is nature y’all?

School of Rock: favorite instrument Handpan or accordion!

The Sound of Music: Which is more important, faith or love Uh they’re hand in hand really....this is so tough. I think Faith 

Spring Awakening: Age when life bothered you the most Currently, actually, so 20 

Waitress: favorite dessert Tbh......pie, as it is and always will be 

Wicked: biggest insecurity “Am I talented enough? Will I amount to anything? What if I’m the kid who peaked in high school?”

The Wizard of Oz: Your definition of home not to be that guy but....a theater, in all honesty 

[jawllines]

YN GETTING STOOD UP AT SENIOR PROM SO SHE CALLS HARRY OVER WHOS LIKE OLDER AND WISE AND HE COMFORTS HER AND THEN THEY FUCK LMAO PLS !!!!!

“’Lo?”

Y/N didn’t know what to do. It was prom, she’d been stood up by her date for Kristen McDale, her makeup was ruined with tears, and her breathing was all shaky and stuttered. She felt like dirt, so she did what she always does when she feels like dirt – she calls Harry. 

Harry was her neighbor – or, well, he used to be, but now he lives on campus in a college not so far off from where she lives. They’d been an unlikely pair of friends, just like every teen rom-com, only without the romantic tendencies. Harry was like a jock bodyguard at school when he was there, who got her tickets to parties as just a Sophomore, let her wear his Letterman jacket when she got cold, and carried her home when she was drunk and wobbly on her feet and away from the other gross Seniors trying to coax her into their bedrooms. 

Of course Y/N had always had a crush on him – he was all green eyes, soft hair, and sweet words, but he always had a girlfriend and Y/N was two years younger. So it never worked out…also like every teen rom-com. 

He encourages her to call when things get to be too much – he knows how she is, with overthinking, and getting to deep in her head. Spent plenty of nights letting her cry to him when everything felt like it was suffocating her. She just hopes that he wouldn’t be too busy with school (or worst: with a girl) to listen to her this time. 

“H-harry?” She hates how her voice quakes, “I – um, can you talk for a second?” 

“Oh no, Babe, why’re you sniffling? Isn’t prom tonight?”

Y/N sniffles, wiping underneath her eyes, “He – he stood me up.” She whimpers out, “I – he called and said he had a different date – the fucking prick! I got all ready and I spent money on my make up and hair and – and this dress! And he stood me up and I don’t know what to do, Harry, I wanna slash his tires but I also just want to cry and watch She’s All That.” 

She can hear the pout in his voice, “Y/N, I’m sorry, but no slashing tires – m’pretty sure college’s see misdemeanors.”

“What about keying his car?” 

Harry’s chuckle settles warm and low in her belly, familiar and comforting – like a hug from a cozy sweater. “Nuh -uh. Say, Pet, why don’t you come down and visit me for a spell? Got that dorm to meself, remember?”

“I won’t be a bother?” 

“Course not! Head on over right now, don’t bother changing though – wanna see you in the dress, yeah?” 

Y/N sniffles again, running the back of her hand beneath her nose, “Kay, see you.” 

“I’ll be waiting.” He promises. 

                                                     …

Just as he said, Y/N barely has time to knock after her “I’m here” text for the door to swing open and reveal him in all his, sweatpants slung low, and grey t-shirted glory. He’s definitely gotten his hair trimmed since she saw him last, and his biceps are bulging against his sleeves a bit more, and Y/N is then very suddenly aware of the makeup still staining and smudging her face.

“Oh, Button,” he pouts, his big hand wrapping around her shoulder and pulling her into a hug. 

Y/N can’t help but burrow her face into his chest, inhaling his citrus – foresty smell, letting it make her feel lightheaded “He’s a dick.” Her grumbles are muffled and soft.

“A right, prick he is. Lemme have a look at you.” He draws back, looking down at her dress and tutting his tongue, “You look so pretty tonight, Pet, he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” 

Snorting, Y/N furrows her brows at him, “I dunno’ if you realize this Harry, but I look like a coked out raccoon.” 

And in very Harry like fashion, he tuts his tongue once more, and shakes his head, reaching to cup her face with his big, warm hands. Letting his thumbs stroke over her tear stained, mascara smudged, cheeks, in slow steady movements, “Still beautiful.”

It’s because he does stuff like this, that makes her all mushy for him. How could she not be, when Harry is sweet and gentle and so nice to her…his looks were just an additional bonus, which was the craziest thing. No wonder he always had a girlfriend, honestly, even if she hates it she understands why. 

“Alright, I’ve got some clothes set out for you and She’s All That queued up. You’re spending the night, Poppet, I’ve already let your mother know.” He gives her a big grin and Y/N returns it just as, if not twice as wide. A sleepover with Harry is always a fun one, and she’s pretty certain he’s her best friend – or at least the only friend she has willing to give up their alone time and their night just so she didn’t have to be alone. 

So she takes herself into the bathroom with his clothes in hand, flopping them on the sink before working on taking the earrings she had out of her ears and avoiding looking at her face for a spell until she can take care of it. She’s lucky she keeps makeup wipes in her purse or she would just have to rock this post stood up for prom” look for the rest of the night. Once she’s wiped free of all mascara debris, she draws her hair back into a bun, before trying to start up on her dress. 

Her dress was one size too small so that everything held up, but it was incredibly hard to get on and out of. She also seemingly forgot her mother had to help her tug it up and over and zip her up, but she remembers this when she’s trying to reach for the zipper and things aren’t going as planned. So with a huff through her nose, she calls out for Harry, who comes moments later.

“Will you please unzip me?” She questions him, and Harry clears throat soundly before nodding, motioning for her to spin around. His fingers were warm, when they touch gently to her shoulder as he moves her hair out of the way, and he gets a grip on the zip before pulling it undone. Y/N hadn’t realized how low it actually went until she feels the warmth of Harry’s hands emanating off of him and upon the top half of her bum.

She expects him to be through after that, but two careful hands start pressing the two sides apart, his palms running smoothly over her back. “Ah,” he tuts his tongue, “Really doesn’t know what he’s missin’,” it’s off handed and takes Y/N by surprise but before she could question him on it, Harry disappears through the door.

Skin pebbled with goosebumps, Y/N finishes getting out of her dress and into one of Harry’s soft sweaters and a pair of sweatpants. Bottom lip bitten raw with thoughts of his hands on her skin as she finally ambles out to him, flopping down on the couch besides him with a puff. The movie set up on his TV and a bowl of popcorn on his lap that he shoves into her hands, “Okay, m’ready to fall in love with a young Freddie Prinze Jr. are you?” 

                                                .        .      .

Y/N peels her heavy eyelids open to the soft sound of a Pretty Little Liars rerun, the gentle whir of the ceiling fan, and a few quiet noises coming from the bathroom. Brows furrowed, she tries to rub the sleep away from her senses – she doesn’t even remember dozing out, but it’s clear that Harry had wrapped her up in his throw cover. Speaking of, where had Harry gone? His phone was still out here, and from where she sat what she could see was his bed was empty, and the bathroom door was left slightly ajar. 

Without much thought, she decides to investigate further. Thinks maybe Harry is just brushing his teeth and washing his face…or at least she hopes so, because if she’s been ditched for another girl for the second time tonight that would destroy her indefinitely. Especially since it’s Harry.

So she moves around the coffee table and towards the bathroom door, rubbing at her eyes and cursing herself for crying so much. A headache tickles at the edges of her brain, and she tells herself to ask Harry for the ibproufen as she begins pressing the door open but all though falters. She’s actually pretty sure her brain starts malfunctioning, as no words or noise come from her mouth, and her mouth falls agape like her jaw had unhinged. 

Hunched over the sink, with his eyes squeezed shut to the reflection of himself in the mirror, one hand from his extended arm holding onto the ceramic counter top, while the other is wrapped around his prick. His very hard, red tipped, thick, and all too delicious looking prick. Front teeth digging into his bottom lip, his brows clinched, there’s sweat beading at his hairline and causing small strands to curl. Y/N couldn’t believe her eyes…sure, she’d accidentally stumbled across her window when Harry had left his cracked open wide, but most of the time he had the decency of being beneath a blanket. 

But this…this Y/N has never encountered before. 

She’s planning on slinking back into the living room, so she can sit on the couch and pretend she’d been asleep this whole time, but a soft groan claws from deep in his chest, and his bitten strawberry swollen lips part around it. Spit slicked and puffy, pursed and all too much for Y/N’s poor little heart to handle. “Fuck,” he thumbs at the already slippery head, the fingers on the sink turning white from how hard he’s gripping it, “s'fucking tight.” 

 Y/N’s heart is bounding against her chest, a twist low in her stomach that sparks a dull ache, and she clenches around nothing. She’s never heard Harry speak like that before, and there was something about it that turned all her nerves into knots. 

 She needs to leave. She needs to turn around and go back to the couch because she’s invading his privacy and she shouldn’t know that he’s as hard as he is, and she shouldn’t know that there is precum splurting from the tip, and she really, really, really shouldn’t know that when Harry dips his thumb into the slit it makes his whole body quake in a shudder. 

But just as soon as she’s convinced to turn away and act as if she’d never seen any of it, he says it.“Y/N,” it’s so quiet, she nearly convinces herself she’s just hearing things, “Fucking, fuck, Y/N.” 

 She doesn’t mean to squeak. Doesn’t mean to give away her position with a terribly embarrassing noise, and doesn’t mean to make him pause in his movements. Blinking his eyes open slowly and raising his head, looking into the mirror at where Y/N stood wide eyed and stock still. When she catches a glance of herself in the mirror, she’s sure she looks like a boner killer all puffy faced from crying but when she dates a quick peek at his cock she sees him twitch in his hand.

 “Ah!” Y/N gasps, smacking her hands over her eyes, “I’m sorry! I was - I was just…needed some ibuprofen and I didn’t know where you were so I came but –”

 “But I was touching myself.” He fills in casually, and all too calmly, “Were you watchin’ me touch myself, Pet?” 

 Her cheeks feel hot, “I’m sorry, I can – if you want me to leave I can leave?” She offers, still with her eyes covered as she starts moving backwards, but she feels his ring clad fingers loop around her forearm to stop her.

 “S'not necessary,” he answers, giving her forearms a tug, trying to see her but she holds strong, “C'mon, you don’t have to hide from me.” 

 “I’m not hiding,” she murmurs, “Just– I didn’t think you wanted me to see your –” 

 “My cock?” He fills in once again and she nods sheepishly, “Darlin, I don’t mind if you see it or not. Besides, you’ve heard me go n’ say your name while I was tugging myself off, dunno why you’re the one acting all embarrassed.” He notes, “Now lemme see you.”

She puts up a fight for only a few moments after, until succumbing to Harry’s insistent hands and letting him pull them from her face. He keeps his hands on her arms as if to settle her, stroking them gently while they slowly relaxed from their tensed state. Once they’re back at her sides, he cradles her face in his palms for the second time that night only this time it feels much less sweet and much more filthy, “There she is,” he murmurs gently, “You look so pretty. You fell asleep on my lap and my thoughts got a little dirty – needed to take care of myself.” 

“Did I make you – is that –” The words keep faltering but Hary jumps in so she doesn’t have to make a stuttering fool of herself, still stroking her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

“What do you think, Sweetheart?” He asks gently, and he’s close enough she can feel his minty breath on her skin, “Think you could just come here looking so cute, and sweet, and sad, and I wouldn’t get hard thinking about taking care of you? ‘Bout fucking you so hard that you forget about that stupid boy, n’all you can think of is my cock?” She shudders, heat pooling in a prickly wave to her lower belly. “Thought you could come here and I wouldn’t wanna pull your hips down into my lap and rub against you, darling? S’that what you thought?” 

She blinks, reaching out to grab at his shirt and fisting the material in her hands, “Harry,” she all but breathes, “I – I –” 

He takes her holding onto him as a good sign, she guesses, because he slides his hand down to her hip, gives her a squeeze and pulls her nearer to him. His nose brushes against her own in a sweet little puppy kiss that really contradicts the state they’re standing in. “’ave you ever given someone head, Baby?” He asks, slipping both hands beneath the hem of his shirt, his fingertips leaving goosebumps on her tummy in his wake. 

Y/N’s brows furrow as she tries to find her words, but he’s so close and his touch is becoming very, very distracting, especially as the tip of his index finger skims just beneath the swell of her breast, “Yes -- yes, I have um -- to the boy who was s’pposed to take me to prom t’night.” She doesn’t know why she tells him who. . .he didn’t ask for it, but Harry pouts his lips at her again, and she feels embarrassed once again, that she’d let the boy sweet talk her into giving him a blowie. Promised to take her to prom, and eat her out after too, the asshole. 

Though being here with Harry is much better, she thinks.

“Tha’s naughty, Pet.” He murmurs, “Knew you had a filthy mouth but didn’t know you were keen on using it.” The smile at his mouth says he’s teasing, small and subtle. 

“Harry --” she starts to whine because she hates being teased but he pretends not to here her and continues on unperturbed. 

“He didn’t deserve this hot little tongue on him though,” he pulls down on her lip, making it pout before she opens up for him, “Not a’ all.” 

Harry leans in then, sliding his tongue gracefully and slow against hers, pressing the whole front of his body into her own while his arms looped around her body and his hands slid down her back. Y/N hasn’t kissed a lot of people so she wasn’t well versed in the structure or movement of it, but Harry was slow, soft, and sweet and he mewls these little noises into her mouth every so often that only cater to the ache in her belly. She doesn’t understand why he’s making them until she realizes that his bare, hard cock is nudging up against her, and it makes her draw her mouth from him for a breath, feeling a bit lightheaded. 

“Can I lick you?” She says without thinking, eyes having flickered down to where he bobs heavily and it makes her mouth water -- the prick she’d been had been a decent size sure, but it wasn’t nearly as pretty as Harry’s. 

His lips are a bit swollen, slicked with spit, and a muted strawberry color as he questions her, “Lick me where?” 

Y/N knows and Harry knows that he good and well is aware of where she wants to. However this doesn’t stop her from bashfully murmuring, “Your cock. Can I please lick you?” 

Smiling, Harry nods but stops her before she can start sinking to her knees, “Tell me if you need’a stop, okay? N’don’t push yourself, Kitten, m’pretty big and I don’ want you choking on me. At least not yet.” 

Nodding, Y/N sinks to her knees and tries to quiet the storm roaring within her as she comes face to face with him. The drippy head taunting her as he pushes his shaft down with a couple of fingers, leveling it with her mouth. Y/N wastes no time in parting her lips around the tip, suckling carefully, just as she was taught to (Tyler may be an asshole, but he did go slow with her). It makes Harry moan out loudly, a noise similar to that of what he’d been making when she stumbled in on him. 

It spurs her onward, and she opens her mouth even more so over the head and tongues at the frenulum, peeking up to look at Harry who has his head thrown back, showing off the smooth expanse of his neck while both hands hold onto the sink counter tightly. “Ah, yes, yes, right there.” He encourages her, “Got such a pretty, warm lil’ mouth, doing so well.” 

Y/N buzzes with the compliments, taking him even farther into her mouth before giving an experimental bob, placing her hand at the base of him and giving a twist. His hips buck at that and he shoves deeper in her mouth, but controls himself quickly, moving to place a hand at her scalp, not pushing her but just as a gently presence “Sorry baby, you just feel so good. Take your time with me.” 

So she does. Y/N bobs her head slowly, sucking on him and listens to all the whimpers and whines that add to the wet dripping and soaking her panties. Her thighs are squeezing together the best they can, to get at least some pressure on her clit, but it does very little. She keeps her other hand at his thigh to keep herself from reaching down and rubbing like she wants to. 

It’s when she pulls back entirely, flattens her tongue and licks a stripe from the small dip of his balls to the smooth, shiny head that Harry’s fingers dig into her hair. “Fuck,” he cries out, looking down to her and his pupils are blown, puffy lips hanging open as she uses the tip of her tongue to really lick at the slit. Y/N can feel him throb in her hand, one that might mean he’s about to cum before he gives her a sharp tug back. “Stop, stop, stop, stop,” he repeats, and it’s only when she’s staring up at him that she realizes her jaw aches and she wonders if she’s done something wrong. 

Y/N guesses her face is easy to read as a book though, as Harry pets tenderly at her head, stroking the hair he’d mussed up down, “You weren’t doin’ anything wrong, Darling, I was just so close to cumming. Realized I wanted to nut off on your body rather than on your mouth.” His hand slowly skims down to her ear, caressing the lobe, “Just don’ know where yet.” 

She starts to stand, a little wobbly on her legs but Harry reaches out to hold her steady, “Easy there,” he titters, “Wanna hear what m’gonna do to you?” 

"Yes!” She answers a little to eagerly and it makes him chuckle warmly.

“First, m’gonna take all this off,” he begins, fingering at the collar of his shirt she’s wearing, his other hand squeezing on her hip like he’s proved to be so fond of doing, “Gonna take my time with you . . .get you so worked up that your dripping down your thighs, begging me to do something, anything at all,” Y/N feels dizzy with want, listening to his words thick with desire, “And instead of giving into your cute little whimpers, I’ll press your thighs together real tight, and slide my cock right in between. . .make you watch the head disappear and reappear while you wish and want it to be inside you. Dunno if I’ll even take you t’night, Pet, maybe I’ll just get you all flustered and hot before cuddling you to sleep.” He waits a beat, searching her face, “Are you ready for that?” 

Gulping, Y/N nods. 

This is much better than prom. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #111

You know you’re from North Carolina when...

- You either have the lighthouse or the plane on your driver's license (nobody gets the seal). (don't have my license *shrug emoticon*) - You roll your eyes and correct people that pronounce it "App-a-LAY-shun" instead of "App-a-LATCH-un." - You have probably been to the Biltmore Estate (AKA America's only castle) before on a school field trip. - If there is even a CHANCE of snow school will be cancelled for a week, the grocery store will be out of milk and bread, and everyone will be afraid to drive. (THIS IS SOOO FUCKING TRUE) - You either like light blue or dark blue, not both. - Some of your family members probably make/sell real moonshine and it's WAY better than that knock-off crap they sell in gas stations now. (I know someone who does, though.) - Cook Out is life. - You have waited in line in your car for two or three hours just to see a street of Christmas lights in McAdenville (AKA Christmastown, USA). - In elementary school you heard the phrases "Duke is puke! Wake is fake! But NC State is the one we hate!" and "You can't get to heaven in a red canoe 'cause God's favorite color is CAROLINA BLUE!" thanks to your obnoxious UNC-loving classmates. - Billy Graham is a state-wide hero and you've probably been to his beautiful library. - You often wonder why Charlotte isn't the capital instead of Raleigh. - Two of God's greatest gifts were invented in North Carolina: Cheerwine and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. (I've never had Cheerwine) - NASCAR is a big deal. (Not to me, but to literally almost everyone else, yeah.) - In school there was importance placed on the Lost Colony, Blackbeard, and tobacco. - It doesn't matter what time of year you go swimming in the mountains, the river water is always freezing. - You've been to Sliding Rock before. - "Wagon Wheel" (by Old Crow Medicine Show) is a very important song to you and you knew it way before Darius Rucker covered it. - Occasionally, you have to worry about a hurricane destroying your town. (We get hurricanes every couple years I'd say, but the bad ones usually curve back into the ocean.) - Bojangles is the best way to cure a hangover. (You haven't fuckin' lived until you go to Bojo's, but it's not gonna cure a hangover.) - We love going "all the way," AKA chili, slaw, onions, and mustard on our hotdogs. (Again, not me, but pretty much everyone else.) - You brag about all the amazing movies filmed here, including "The Last of the Mohicans," "Dirty Dancing," "The Hunger Games," "A Walk to Remember," "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby," and "The Color Purple." - And also the popular TV shows filmed in North Carolina, including "One Tree Hill," "Homeland," "Under the Dome," "Sleepy Hollow" and "Dawson's Creek." - You rep 23 because the greatest basketball player of all time is also from here: Michael Jordan. - There are two kinds of barbecue: Eastern-style and Lexington-style, and you probably have a preference. Either way, North Carolina has the best barbecue in the country. - And barbecue is a NOUN, not a verb. - We have some of the best breweries in the country, also. - The ACC tournament is an extremely important time of the year where families and friendships will be torn apart. - Many people think North Carolina is super conservative, until they make their way to Asheville. (Uh, no. The entire state is conservative.) - There's nothing more relaxing than driving along the Blue Ridge Parkway in the fall. - You've definitely been to Carowinds and then realized it's not that great. - Every hour is happy hour to you, because North Carolina legally cannot have an official happy hour! - You can always see a lovely dogwood tree blooming in the spring. (Never, ever, do you want to smell one.) - You will fight anyone who says Ohio was first in flight. - If you need to buy furniture, there are only two places to go: Hickory or High Point. - You know the North Carolina mountains are the best and only place to get a Christmas tree. - You know the struggle of waiting to get your after 9's when you first get your driver's license. (It's the same for a permit.) - Even though we're on the coast, most people go to the beach in South Carolina. - You think the Rocky Mountains are great, but the Blue Ridge Mountains are home. - Tracking red clay into your house is normal. - You had to memorize the names of all the North Carolina lighthouses in 4th grade. - You either conquered the swinging mile-high bridge on Grandfather Mountain, or turned around halfway in fear. - There's a certain time of summer when it's too hot to even go swimming because the pool water feels like bathwater. - People from other states get confused when you say you're going to Beech and grab your skiing gear. (Lmao what.) - You know our state motto "esse quam videri" (meaning "to be, rather than to seem") is an appropriate representation of our great state. (Well that's a load of shit.) - You have strong feelings about barbeque. (Yeah, in the sense that I hate it.) - Somehow our favorite team always come down to some last-minute victory or loss. Ensue floods of tears. - On a Florida vacation at least three people have asked you where you're from. (My grandma lives in Florida.) - You LIKE tobacco, as in, the gorgeous tobacco fields and the rich heritage it has in our state. - You've partied in a field. (We were what, 13, so it wasn't exactly a "party," but we played out there, if that counts?) - It's not Christmas unless you watch the Andy Griffith Christmas Episode - It doesn't feel like fall unless you visit the State Fair. - Summer vacations meant one thing, ferry rides to the Outer Banks. (Again, to other people. OBX is huge here.) - You've bought watermelons, peaches, and vegetables off the side of the road. (I don't trust that shit.) - You have mixed feelings about Myrtle Beach. - You've attended a pig pickin'. (And they're fucking gross.) - Your accent and dialect varies depending on which part of the state you grew up in. - You've never met ANY celebrities. - You measure distance in minutes. (Literally everyone here does.) - Down South to you means South Carolina. (It can.) - You know Pepsi originated in New Bern, Cheerwine in Salisbury, and that Mountain Dew was invented in Fayetteville. (I knew they were all invented here, but not where specifically.) - You know Coke tastes better in the little bottles and that peanuts make coke taste even better. (Don't like peanuts) - Your folks have taken trips to the mountains to look at leaves. - Your school took a field trip to the State Fair in Raleigh. - You watched as Dale Earnhardt was the only man who ever lived who could go 200 mph, spin somebody out, flip them the bird, call them a you-know-what, and win the race all in the last lap. - You skipped school to go to Dale Earnhardt's memorial service. - You know a bunch of people who have hit a deer. (Like everyone lmao) - You know a few that have also hit a bear. - You remember watching the ACC Tournament on television at school. - The local newspaper covers state, national, and international headlines in one page, but sports require six pages. - Most men in town consider the first day of deer season a national holiday. - Fifty degrees Fahrenheit is "a little chilly" (To other people; that's like perfect for me.) - You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Conetoe" or "Top Sail" (I've been to Conetoe once and it blew my mind how it was pronounced lol.  I didn't know Top Sail had a weird pronunciation...?) - Your school classes were canceled because of cold. - Your school classes were canceled because of heat. - Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. (Happens rarely.) - You know tea is served sweet unless you specifically asked for unsweetened. - You've ever had to switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day. - You end your sentences with a preposition, for example, "Where's my coat at?" "What's that made out of?" (Doesn't... everyone sometimes...?) - All the festivals around the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or tobacco. - You know the difference between a deer dog, a bear dog and a coon dog by the way they bark. - Your four seasons are almost summer, summer, still summer, and highway construction. (PRETTY FUCKING MUCH.) - You think the four major food groups are beef, pork, beer, and Jello salad with marshmallows. - Schools and churches hold barbecue fundraisers with banana pudding as the dessert. - Your folks would rather eat at Bojangles's than McDonald's. - You know what "cow tipping" is. - You say, “it don’t” instead of “it doesn’t." - You sometimes eat country ham, grits and eggs for supper. - “Onced” and “twiced” are words. - You know how much a "mess" of anything is. - You say "tater" instead of "potato" - You say "skeeter" instead of "mosquito" - You say "possum" instead of "opossum" - You say "coon" instead of "raccoon" - You know that "barbeque" means cooking pork on an open pit and a "cook out" is grilling hamburgers and hotdogs. - You know that "pop" is a sound, and "soda" is used for baking. - Everything tastes better when served in a mason jar. - You'll never hear anything more passive-aggressive than "bless your heart!" - Everyone knows someone who's in the military. - Everyone seriously loves the North Carolina Zoo. - People have to ask, "Is there alcohol in this?" - You loooove Sun Drop. - You know to NEVER go to the Crabtree Valley Mall on the weekend. (Never, ever, do it.)

[othercat2]

fic: (they flow from form to form) 14/?

==>Karkat: get stuck in the “Groundhog Day” episode of this supernatural rom com

This is a thing that happens:

Time passes. Dad wakes him up in the middle of the night and they throw a few days’ worth of clothes and food into the trunk of the car. They manage to make it to the next town before they are stopped and taken back to Alba.

They manage to make it to the next town. They are stopped. They try to fight and Karkat gets away. Karkat spends most of his life running from the town and from occultists. He is not able to escape the Gods.

They try to fight and Karkat is killed. So are the Adepts. Dad is not killed. He makes a deal and a large portion of Alba is destroyed.

They try to fight and Karkat and Dad are killed. So are the Adepts. A large portion of Alba is destroyed.

Dad and Karkat fight. Both get away. They spend most of their lives running from the town and from occultists. They are not able to escape the Gods.

Time passes. Dad and Karkat learn rites and spells. They learn how to placate the Gods. They leave the town. They manage to make it to the next town and the next town after that. Occultists make their lives unnecessarily interesting. The town makes attempts at convincing them to come back.

Occultists make their lived unnecessarily interesting. They stick out. They are noticeable. Their lives become a supernatural monster of the week drama. They occasionally run into members of the cult who are hunting down this or that artifact or questing for this and that purpose. (Or who are just going to college/living Outside and find themselves in trouble and ask for help.)

The town makes attempts at convincing them to return. Some are friendly, some are not. There are friends who might be in danger because of conflict between the factions, and Blood would be able to mediate between them in a way that other Aspects can’t. The Gods are a continuing presence, sometimes dangerous by accident, sometimes dangerous by intent, relentlessly protective.

Time passes. Karkat and Dad learn rites and spells. They stay in the town, which is up to its ears in factions and simmering discontent and dislike of change. Politics happen.

Karkat is living through this and it’s not quite like reliving the same day over and over again, so there’s less repetition, but there are themes and possibilities and he is living all of them without knowing why. He’s confused as hell, wondering if he’s lucid dreaming or something. He can’t really wake up; he’s tried. All he does is go into a new arc of possibilities. He has no idea of how long this has been having objectively. It might have been only hours, it could possibly be days.

Karkat is going through an arc involving leaving town to go through college. He’s packing his bags (again) and someone is sitting on the bed. It’s a boy his own age, with dark hair, brown skin and an overbite, glasses and brilliant blue eyes. (And sometimes blue skin. And sometimes gray skin and horns. And sometimes extra arms, extra fingers, extra eyes.) “Why is this happening again?” Karkat asks the boy, who is Breath.

The boy grins. “I was wondering when you were going to ask that!” Breath says cheerfully. “It was funny at first, but now it’s getting dumb. And boring.”

“Boredom is obviously the worst thing ever,” Karkat says sarcastically. “What’s going on?”

“The most important thing you’re going to learn is that you shouldn’t treat spells like they were recipes,” Breath says. “I mean, they are, but they’re a recipe where you’re as likely to get cookies as you are to get I don’t know, bagels maybe, with the same set of ingredients and specifications if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Did I try to cast a spell?” Karkat asks. “I don’t remember. I’m not even sure what day it is.”

“You didn’t try to cast a spell,” Breath says. “It’s Monday, just after noon.”

“I have Finals!” Karkat protests. “Who cast this spell on me?”

“It’s not like you’ll be behind if you miss a day,” Breath says with a shrug. “And it wasn’t cast on you. This is…friendly fire.”

Karkat frowns. Friendly fire? Dad, he immediately thinks. “Dad wouldn’t just randomly cast a spell like a character in a bad horror movie though,” he says.

“It wasn’t random,” Breath says. “Pretty sure your dad was trying to find the best options for getting out of town. He really should have consulted with Si, but he was afraid to talk about it, so he picked a spell he thought might work, waited til you went to bed then boom, Groundhog Day!” Breath lifted His hands so they framed His grinning face and held them palm outward, waggling His fingers.

“Would Si really have helped us get out of town?” Karkat asks skeptically. “Wouldn’t he get in trouble?”

“With the priesthood maybe,” Breath says. “We wouldn’t like you leaving. We’d be pretty upset and things would probably happen.” There’s a beat, and then Breath says. “No that wasn’t a threat. Things happen. Like a storm knocking trees down. Like birds shitting on a car. Like stepping on a Lego in the dark! Things are less likely to happen because we have priests and Spouses. We’re balanced by the rites and ceremonies.”

“We aren’t confined here; this is just where Our temple is.”

“Okay,” Karkat says. “How do I get out of this?”

“I’m pulling you out now, actually,” Breath says. “You’re kind of peripheral to the spell, and it won’t be too hard.”

“What about Dad,” Karkat asks. “Can’t you do something?”

“I could, but I might hurt him,” Breath says. He wiggles His fingers again, this time as if he were playing an invisible piano. “I can tickle the ivories but I don’t have a touch delicate enough to free him from the temporal knots he’s tied himself into without hurting him. There’s some things it’s better for Our People to do, than for Us to try. Another Adept, preferably one of Mind needs to go in and nudge him back into [concept.]”

[Concept] kept changing inside Karkat’s head. It either meant “material, physical world” or “a precise moment in local space/time in which someone who is not a god exists.” Karkat almost asks how to get into touch with an “Adept of Mind,” but then he remembers: Terezi and her mother Latula. They were both Mind. “Shit,” he mutters. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go talk to Terezi or her mother, even if Kanaya had hinted that he should. (But he had to, if they could fix this.)  

“You could ask Si for help instead,” Breath says.

It’s a tempting thought. On the other hand, he had to talk to Terezi sometime; he couldn’t just avoid her forever. (Never mind that she seemed to be the one avoiding everyone else, since she’d been ditching school.) “Just get me out of this,” Karkat says a little abruptly. Then, realizing his tone he says, “uh assume I made some kind of super respectful and flowery entreaty there.”

“That was a super respectful entreaty from you,” Breath says cheerfully. He holds out His hand, and after a moment’s hesitation, Karkat takes it.

There’s a moment of red-shot darkness, and then he’s sitting on his bed. For a moment it doesn’t seem as if there was a change, but then he notices the lack of a suitcase on the bed, and the difference in the light. Something is growing on the walls of his room, from the ceiling, like vines, or maybe roots. The “roots” are a bright, translucent red and they grow as he watches them. “What.”

“The spell from outside,” Breath says. “It shouldn’t be spreading like this. It should be a nice contained fractal.”

“Is it dangerous?” Karkat asks. He starts to get up, wanting to do something, try to get to his Dad maybe, but he wobbles and starts to fall. Breath catches him.

“Careful,” Breath says cheerfully, and nudges him back to the bed. “How do you feel?”

“Dizzy. My ears are ringing.” He is also suddenly, horribly, achingly hungry. “And I’m really hungry.”

“No surprise,” Breath says. “Your last meal was dinner Saturday evening! Let me get you something to eat.”

“Okay.”

“The dizziness should go away. The ringing is the spell,” Breath says. “Let me get you something to eat.” The God steps back and cups his hands as if holding something, and then he’s holding a paper bag and a plastic cup. “Bacon cheeseburger, fries, large Coke,” he says. “Don’t eat too fast.”

Karkat takes the food from Breath, wondering if it had be created, or maybe stolen somehow. He has a sudden image of Breath waiting in line to order, His human disguise looking just wrong enough to be disturbing. Karkat takes the bag and the Coke from Breath, and sets the cup on the nightstand. He fishes the french-fry carton out of the bag, and the cheeseburger. He unwraps the cheeseburger and lays it on top of the bag in front of him on the bed. “Thanks,” he says.

Breath grins and immediately steals one of the fries.

Karkat eats slowly, watching the roots spread. “You didn’t say whether this was dangerous,” Karkat says.

“Not immediately,” Breath says. “You have plenty of time to eat and decide who you’re going to go to for help.”

The Pyropes were actually closer by a couple of blocks. (He still didn’t want to go over there yet. He maybe never wants to go over there.) On the other hand, Si was his and Dad’s teacher. Karkat picks up his cell phone, intending to send a text but there’s an “out of service area” message on the screen. “What the hell?”

“That happens sometimes,” Breath says. He’s kneeling behind Karkat on the bed now, peering over Karkat’s shoulder.  “You might get better reception out on the porch.”

Karkat pulls on a pair of pants and a t-shirt, then heads out of his room and down the stair. There’s more of the red roots spreading all through the house, the main trunk seems to be growing from his dad’s office. Almost, Karkat heads for the door but Breath tugs him out of the house and onto the porch. Out on the porch he’s able to send a text: SI DAD TRIED A SPELL AND SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENED.

II can be over there iin thiirty minute2. Can you tell me what happened?

Karkat explains the situation and then adds, I WAS TOLD AN ADEPT OF MIND WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP DAD.

One wiith 2eer talent2 by preference, whiich would be Latula’s liittle giirl. But 2he ha2n’t been doiing two well, and you maybe aren’t ready to talk two her yet, let alone ask her for help.

KANAYA SAID I SHOULD TALK TO HER.

Kanaya’2 not wrong. 2o here i2 what you’re going two do. Go two the Pyrope hou2e and tell Latula what you told me. Tell her I’m going two need her help and that you’ll 2tay with Terezii.

Note that talkiing two her iis not a requiirement and not liikely two be a thiing that happen2 because agaiin 2he ii2n’t doiing well.

Karkat almost asks what was wrong with Terezi, but instead he sends back. OKAY. I’M ON MY WAY. Then he shoves his phone in his pocket and heads for Terezi’s house. Breath is not around, though a pretty strong breeze kicks up at Karkat’s back, rustling through the leaves of the trees. He starts out at a fast walk, and ends up running the last half block to Terezi’s house. He’s a little out of breath when he gets to the front door and rings the bell.

Ms. Pyrope--Latula--answers the door within a few minutes of his ringing the bell. “Karkat?” She frowns at him, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

Karkat repeats everything he’d told Si, ending with, “Si says he needs your help, and that I should stay with Terezi.”

“Are you sure, Karkat?” Latula asks. “You don’t have to stay here. I can call Mituna and have him pick you up.”

Karkat shrugs. “It’s okay,” he says.

Latula nods. “There’s some TV dinners in the freezer, and some leftovers from last night in the fridge,” she says, letting him in, and heading off into the house. Karkat stands awkwardly by the door while he hears Latula thump around in the house. She comes back a few minutes later with a briefcase, wearing a kind of hooded teal robe over jeans and t-shirt advertising a reading program at the library. She has a sword in some kind of holder with a strap slung over her shoulder. “You might end up spending the night depending how long this takes. Are you sure you’re going to be all right?” She asks, giving him a worried look.

Karkat nods, though he doesn’t feel sure at all. “Yeah. I’m good,” he says.

Latula nods, and heads out the door for her car. Karkat shuts the door behind her, and locks it. He hears her car start up, and move out onto the street.

<==

==>

I have a Patreon! If you like my writing, please consider becoming  a patron! Or you could buy me a coffee! Donation links are in the sidebar of my blogs! I am having a Continuing Financial Crisis and could use the help as being homeless = no writing.

Feedback would also be kind of awesome! I like to know what my readers think about what I write!

[one-soul-two-brothers]

This Could Be Worth the Risk, Worth the Guarantee

season 12 stories [part VI] ao3

“Tom, put daddy’s guitar down, please!” Holy crap. “Wait, JJ, stop poking Odette!” Christ, these kids are acting like they’re on crack. Where’s the goddamn food? Where’s Jared?? “Shep, stop trying to do flips off the couch! You’re gonna break your neck!”

Jensen finally gave up on his attempt to run in six different directions at once and stood up, surveying the pandemonium playing out in front of him. He and Jared had all their kids for the weekend holiday, and it had been great, really great, but it was Sunday evening and they were absolutely wired. They’d been waiting for their food to be delivered for over an hour, and as the kids had gotten hungrier they’d also gotten grumpier, so Jared (and fine, maybe Jensen would admit he was a willing participant in the horrible decision) finally broke down and gave them all snacks. Unfortunately, the only snacks they’d had available were, of course, candy. (The fact that the only edible things they had in their entire kitchen were sweet tarts, rainbow ribbons, miniature Reese’s cups, four bags of gummy bears, a twelve-pack of Coke, and eight beers was totally Jared’s fault, Jensen decided.)

But Jared had disappeared a few minutes ago, leaving Jensen all alone to try and make sure the six (were there really only six? it seemed like twenty) kids didn’t set the apartment on fire…or worse.

“Jared!” Jensen bellowed, and Jared popped his head out of their bedroom. Jensen just stood there and lifted his hands up casually, inviting Jared to notice and perhaps help control the mayhem.

“I was calling the delivery place,” Jared explained as he stepped out of the bedroom and walked down the short hallway until he was standing right in front of Jensen. “They fucking canceled our order and didn’t even let us know!” Jared’s whisper was angry.

“Well, that would’ve been helpful to know,” Jensen growled, but he was less angry and more just frustrated, resigned to the fact that it would be at least another half hour before they could get something else delivered, which meant another half hour of acting not so much like a father as a freaking zookeeper. He loved and adored every single one of their kids, but there was a reason the original plan was to just have four. Because having six children all within five years of each other was…something else. Bang-your-head-on-the-wall, cry-until-you-laugh something else.

“Okay, well, what else could get here quick? That isn’t pizza,” Jensen rushed to add, knowing exactly what Jared was about to say. And any other night, pizza would have been perfectly satisfactory, but it was Easter weekend and it was the first time that all eight of them had been together. Together without any other…family.

Jared didn’t offer up any suggestions though; he was busy ranting to himself under his breath. Jensen knew with a sudden clarity that this was not going to be one of those times when Jared just let it go. Jensen could practically see the gears whirring in his head as Jared stared intently at his phone. Jensen knew Jared had decided on a course of action when his hands stopped fidgeting and he let a large breath of air out of his body, deflating like a balloon.

Jared looked up at Jensen with a crease between his eyebrows and his teeth biting at his bottom lip. He stared at Jensen like he was waiting for his permission or something. Jensen just raised his eyebrows; it was Jared’s choice, but Jensen figured it probably wouldn’t hurt to point out the obvious.

“You’re gonna get a lot of flak if you do it,” he said. His tone was light but still matter-of-fact. Jensen had expected Jared to hem and haw, or to groan knowingly, or to roll his eyes in exasperation; what Jensen wasn’t expecting was for Jared’s eyes to be glinting darkly like he was coming up with some evil master plan.

“Yeah. But…I think I can make it worthwhile,” he said with a shrug and a smirk.

“Umm…” Uncertainty flashed through Jensen’s mind as Jared’s thumbs tapped quickly on his phone. “Whatever, I’m ordering pizza,” he muttered to himself with a sigh as he brought out his own phone and scrolled through his contacts, finding their go-to pizza place and calling in an order. It only took a few minutes, and as Jensen ended the call a Twitter notification popped up on his phone.

He groaned; he knew this could only mean one thing. Jared was already back in the living room, his attention fully on their kids, so Jensen took a quick second to check and see what Jared had posted. It was a picture—a screenshot, actually—and the caption read: .@jensenackles and I waited over an hour for @Favor for 6 combined kids. No phone call or text to let us know it got cancelled. #NeverAgain.

Jensen had to reread it four times before it completely sunk in. He stood there speechless; maybe to a casual observer it didn’t seem conspicuous, but Jared had just publicly stated that he and Jensen were together with all their kids—and no wives—on Easter.

The tweet was already racking up likes and replies and retweets or whatever, so Jensen quickly scrolled through the comments. As predicted, some were rude or downright cruel; most were supportive; and a handful were people freaking out over the exact thing that Jensen was kind of freaking out over.

Jared had soft-outed them.

That’s what Jensen had taken to calling moments like these, when one (or both) of them said or did something that just seemed to make their relationship so blatantly obvious to anyone who was willing to see. There had been many of them over the years, but over the last two or three—probably since Jensen had moved to Austin—it was like they were rapid-fire shooting them.

Little rocks and pebbles hurled at the constricting and reviled glass closet they’d been forced into so many years ago. And boy, did Jensen love the look of those cracks.

“Jay!” he called loud enough to be heard over the whines and laughs and shrieks of six little ones. Jared looked up at him from where he was wrestling on the ground with JJ. Jensen pulled up the camera on his phone and took a quick video, wanting to remember everything about this moment. “I liked your tweet!” he said, knowing that his comment could be heard in the recording.

“Hey babe, I was just making a statement about poor customer service,” he said casually, tickling their daughter into a fit of laughter.

“Yeah, well…” Jensen trailed off as he walked over to them, bending forward and drawing his arm back at the same time so that he could be seen by the camera now too. He dropped onto the floor and leaned over JJ to give Jared a kiss.

“Eww!” Shep squealed right before jumping onto Jensen’s back.

“Daddy and Jensen sittin’ in a tree,” Tom sang loudly and off-key, “K-I-S-do-bo-me,” continued, changing the lyrics halfway through because he didn’t know how to spell the word ‘kissing’ quite yet.

“Where’d he learn that?” Jared asked, mock-scandalized. He looked into the camera. “Oh, right…I taught him.” He winked as Jensen cracked up and planted another kiss on Jared, his mouth still open and laughing.

“So that’s how you spend your time in Austin without me?”

“Well, I try to do all the important things while I’m there,” Jared replied. Tom tumbled over Jared’s legs and joined the group on the ground. Jensen stopped the recording and stuck his phone back in his pocket before it got stepped on by tiny but surprisingly damage-inflicting feet. The three babies were sitting in their little baby seat-things, not able to join in with the roughhousing but providing a very substantial background track. The commotion grew when the doorbell buzzed, probably the delivery guy with their pizzas.

Jared hauled himself up, Shep clinging to one shin and JJ the other, and shuffled over to the intercom to buzz the guy in. Minutes later, there was knocking on the door and Jared opened it immediately. Jensen appeared with his wallet and Tom hanging onto him in a piggyback ride.

“Looks like you’re having a fun evening,” the guy commented as he handed the pizzas to Jared and took cash from Jensen. Jensen had seen him enough over the last few years of him and Jared ordering pizza to know the guy’s name—Chris—and to have spent a few minutes here and there chatting.

“Yeah, loads” Jared said as he tried to balance the pizzas while walking towards the kitchen, dragging the two kids who were still on his legs.

“Have a good night,” Jensen grinned at Chris, who chuckled and waved before turning and heading back down the hall to the elevators.

“Okay, guys,” Jensen spoke loudly to get their children’s attention, “if you keep hanging on to us you won’t get to eat pizza—“

“PIZZA!” JJ shrieked and immediately released her grip on Jared, thumping down onto the floor. The others followed and Jared grabbed paper plates and napkins while Jensen poured drinks and heated up milk for the babies.

“You know,” Jared muttered to Jensen, “I’m kinda glad that stupid app screwed up our order.”

“Yeah? And why’s that, Padalecki?”

“Because, Ackles, now I have a good excuse when my manager calls me tomorrow to yell at me about saying I was with you and not Gen.”

“That won’t shut him up,” Jensen pointed out, internally wincing at the thought of yet another of Spilo’s red-faced meltdowns.

“True,” Jared agreed, then slipped his hand inside Jensen’s pocket and whipped out his phone. “Actually,” he said thoughtfully as he looked through something on the phone, “if I’m gonna get yelled at anyways, why don’t I just go ahead and post that video you just took?”

“Jay!” Jensen said in alarm, but there was no heat to it. Frankly, he didn’t give a shit if they accidentally (or not-so-accidentally) got outed, right here right now. However, he’d imagined the moment to be a bit more romantic and, well, epic.

“Yeah, babe, I know. I’m just kidding,” Jared sighed before handing the phone back. Jensen smiled sadly and ran his hand through Jared’s hair a few times.

“Soon,” he promised.

Later that night, Jared snored softly beside him as Jensen lay wide-awake in their bed; he’d been unable to fall asleep for hours now. He plucked his phone off the nightstand and flicked through it. His fingers shook as he composed a simple but sweet tweet and attached a video to it. He stared wistfully at the screen, his thumb hovering over the ‘tweet’ button for several minutes. He finally let out a long and slightly-pained sighed as he hit ‘X’ instead, deleting his declaration of love before anyone got the chance to see it.

Soon, he repeated to himself.